10 months

**Another late post. I'm getting caught up though.**

Dear Zoe,

We're in the double digits....you're 10 months old! I can't believe that it's already time to start brainstorming for your first birthday party. It seems as though Mommy and Daddy just brought you home.

In the last month it seems like you've just "come to life" so to speak because you have become so alert, aware and engaged in the world around you. Mommy and Daddy are really enjoying watching you grow and learn.

When you were newborn we used to call you our little squirm worm because you squirmed so much. Now you really squirm a lot. You hardly can sit still which makes ordinary tasks such as combing your hair or cutting your nails a real chore. I often try to foolishly reason with you to sit still. Hah! Silly Mommy! You can, however, be bribed into sitting still if I give you a remote control (not an old one either, it has to be an actively used remote....you can't be fooled) or my Bla.ckb.erry. Speaking of the remote control and Bla.ckb.erry, you LOVE technology! I guess most babies do though. Daddy and I joke and say that you can do with one swipe of the hand things we never knew possible with the remote, Bla.ckb.erry, our phones, our laptops, you name it. You're our little compute whiz. And you love setting appointments on our phones. One day Daddy's calendar alarm sounded on his phone with the appointment description "pppp". LOL.

I hesitate to say this because I don't want to jinx it, but you're finally sleeping through the night. One evening I noticed you seemed pretty tired at 6:45, which was well in advance of your previous 8:30 bedtime. Following your cues, I took you upstairs for the bedtime routine and you were in your crib fast asleep by 7:30....and you slept until 6:00! When you woke up Mommy brought you to bed to nurse you and you went right back to sleep until 8:15!! This trend has continued although your wake time varies between 7:45-8:15am. Now Mommy and Daddy need to work on getting to bed earlier so we can benefit from the extra sleep you're dishing out these days. We're so proud of you, sweetness. It makes us feel so good when we know you get good rest. We're still working on your naps, but we rejoice that the evenings seem to be solved.

This month you started saying "dadada" although it's not specifically directed toward Daddy (yet!). When I ask you to say "mama", you say "yaya". I believe that means "mama" in your mind, although it's not specifically directed toward Mommy. It's just so exciting hearing you "talk" and seeing you attempt to communicate with us.

You're beginning to understand and respond to simple commands such as "sit down", "where's Gy.mbo" (your little clown from Gy.mbo.ree), "give kisses", "where's your peek-a-boo book", "where's mommy/daddy", and "clap mommy's/daddy's hands" (interestingly, you won't clap your own hands). You also learned where your nose, eyes and mouth are this month; you learned this very fast. Now if we ask you where your nose is, you lean in to our hand or arm and touch it with your nose. You're inconsistent with showing us your eyes and mouth, but you definitely know where they are. Zoe, Mommy and Daddy think you are the most amazing and most intelligent baby EVER!!! :-)

After doing some research on the topic, Mommy and Daddy decided to teach you baby si.gn lan.gu.age. We are starting with simple signs that are pertinent to your current interests: "milk", "eat", "more", and "all gone/all done". You haven't started signing back (yet), but you do seem to understand the signs, particularly the one for "milk" because when you see it you sometimes will lean in towards the breast. We're so excited about giving you a mechanism to communicate with us until you learn how to communicate more verbally.

This month, as advertised, you developed separation anxiety from Mommy. Some days the anxiety is worse than others, but it's not uncommon for you not to want me out of your sight. I often have to play peek-a-boo and slowly walk out of room to get out of your sight. Although separation anxiety combined with your continued stranger anxiety can be tough on me, I'm okay with it because I know it's just a phase. Mommy is committed to giving you the comfort and reassurance you need during this time. I love you so much, Zoe!

In terms of motor skills, you have become a much faster crawler in the last month. You still do this silly little crab crawl with one knee and one foot, but it's a fast crab crawl! And it's so cute. You also love standing. You stand so much and cruise along stationary objects. We've even caught you standing unassisted for a brief second or two. You're getting so strong.

Oh, this month you saw your first bit of snow! It was a huge surprise for all of us. You weren't too impressed.

Zoe, you are so very loved. Mommy and Daddy simply adore you. You are the best thing that has happened to us as a couple. We love you very very much!

Hug, kisses and all my love,

Mommy

10 Month Photo

First Snow!

Standing Tall

First Bubble Bath

(notice the bow in Zoe's hand...she snagged this from a Christmas present and wouldn't let it go)

Cutie Pie

(Zoe loves chewing on the phone)

Tipping the Work-Life Balance Scale in my Favor

After five months of working full-time and attempting a frustrating and tiring balancing act, I'm happy to say the scale is tipping in my favor. Effective January 1, I will be a part-time attorney at my firm! I feel so fortunate to work for a progressive firm that makes it possible for women to practice law while working part-time. Mostly, I thank the Lord for directing my steps and softening the hearts of all the decision makers.

I know the debate over being a SAHM and a working mom is a very real one and emotions (and tempers) can run high. I believe that the decision is a personal one, and I think it is very disrespectful for someone to impose their opinion on the matter on another person. Each mother and each family has to do what works best for them, but none of it should be to the detriment of the child(ren). I know many women who work full-time and lead very successful and happy lives and their children thrive. I know other women that aren't that great at striking the balance and/or are miserable doing it. To each her own.

For me....I have not enjoyed the non-stop treadmill I've been on the past five months. And the scary thing is I haven't been working as hard as I would otherwise have to due to the economy slowing down legal work. Even still, my days since returning to work in August have increasingly become more challenging. I have hit a point of feeling inadequate in every area of my life. Again, I'm speaking for myself. I feel inadequate as a wife, as a mother and as an attorney. I feel like I give each role in my life "just enough" to get by. If I'm honest, my role as a mother is probably where I succeed the most, but it's still not as much as I want to give. And I feel like I have absolutely nothing left over for myself. No time to exercise (but that's a different story altogether), no time for adequate personal maintenance (I really miss having time to pamper), no time for personal quiet time with the Lord (where is my Bible by the way???), no time to spend with friends or keep up with them by phone, no time for blogging (hence the huge time gaps on this blog), and no time to just do, well, nothing.

In my new role as a part-time attorney, I will only be working Tuesday through Thursday. I'm excited to have two more days at home with Zoe completely focused and engaged with her. I think she needs this right now. And I know I need it because she's growing so fast. Trevor has been home with Zoe Tuesday through Thursday, so this arrangement eliminates the need for any form of child care. For that we are both extremely thankful. I used to think I was okay with the thought of child care, but after holding Zoe for the first time something inside of me changed. I just couldn't (and still can't) imagine someone else caring for her. No one will ever care for Zoe better than Trevor and I will, so why even go there?! I know we are very blessed to have the ability to arrange for Zoe's care in the manner that we have. Perhaps that's why I'm so resolved about not putting Zoe in daycare or hiring a nanny....because we have a choice and we don't have to use those options. I recognize not everyone has this choice.

This arrangement is not without its sacrifices. The most obvious sacrifice is financial as I'll take a cut in pay, but it's absolutely worth it. The most significant sacrifice, however, is the sacrifice of time as a family since Trevor is now working weekends. It's tough accepting the fact that we can't live our lives as most families. No weekend birthday parties as a family. No church as a family. No Sunday dinners as a family. In fact, most of what we do as a family is crammed into three weekdays that are also filled with work for me. But it's all worth it. For now. Eventually, as Zoe grows, we may feel differently. But for now the scales are tipping in my (our) favor and I couldn't be happier! I hope this change will help me feel a little more adequate as a wife, mother, and attorney. I'm not so confident that it will help my personal well-being as it's only two additional days and I'll be alone most of this time with Zoe, but we'll see. One day at a time. Here's to a new (more effective?) balancing act.

Zoe's First....

....pigtail! After giving Zoe a bath recently, I was combing her hair and realized how long it's gotten on top. The hair on the sides and back are still trying to catch up. I thought it would be fun to see how a lone pigtail looked on Zoe. I think she looks darling. See for yourself:

Thankful Indeed

I have plenty to be thankful for this year. Plenty. But what I'm especially thankful for this year is my beautiful daughter. I'm so blessed to be her mommy.

Zoe's New Discovery

While Trevor was doing dishes one day and holding Zoe in the Mo.by wrap, Zoe discovered her Daddy's chest hair. It was quite hilarious (to me) and painful (for Trevor).

To distract Zoe from her new discovery, we added some protection for Trevor. Look close. It didn't quite work out, but we tried. Ha!

In a League of His Own

**Apologies for the awful format...Blogger is giving me editing blues**

Where did the time go?! Trevor took three months off to stay home with Zoe upon my return to work. I'm so thankful that between the two of us we were able to provide for Zoe's care for nine months. What a blessing!

Trevor did a fantastic job with Zoe! It was beautiful to watch the two of them bond in a special way, especially since he spends a lot of time on the road when he works.

From a personal perspective, having Trevor home my first three months back to work was great. In the early days, particularly when I was extremely emotional about leaving Zoe to return to work, Trevor's presence was a saving grace. He brought Zoe downtown to have lunch frequently, and when I got home from work each night, he took care of dinner so I could be completely engaged with Zoe and reconnect with her. That meant so much to me. He's amazing! And added bonus was getting three months of living like a normal family. Again, because of the Trevor's job, he's on the road a lot, so it was great to live like "normal" families do.

In terms of Zoe's day-to-day care, Trevor picked up where I left off with the good and the bad. Unfortunately, I was extremely unsuccessful in getting Zoe on a schedule while I was on maternity leave, so Trevor inherited days full of erratic sleeping. I was also bad about introducing Zoe to the bottle, so the first several days (okay, all three months actually) were a transition as Trevor tried to get Zoe used to the bottle after she had exclusively nursed, with a few limited exceptions, for 6 months. He handled it like a trooper!

Trevor faithfully took Zoe to her weekly Gy.mb.oree play classes even though he was usually the only daddy there. I think I was the envy of all the women, and in some respects I think Trevor was the envy of a lot of the dads. One of the moms, whom I befriended while I was on maternity leave, e-mailed me once to rave about how lucky I was to have such an involved husband. I couldn't agree more. Trevor was also diligent about doing educational/developmental things with Zoe such as her color, first words and shapes flash cards and reading books to her.

Most notably, Trevor accepted one of the Gy.mb.oree moms' invitations to go on a "play date." It was pretty hilarious, but in the end he enjoyed it. They went to the Dal.las Arb.oretum, which I hear is beautiful...I can't wait to go with Trevor and Zoe one day.

During their time together, Trevor subjected Zoe to lots of sports programming! He's convinced that she loves golf and football now. I cringe at the thought. :-)

Trevor, thank you for being such a fabulous husband and daddy. Zoe and I are extremely blessed to have you in our lives; we're lucky to be your girls.

We love you!

On Their Playdate (and yes, Trevor put the bow in Zoe's hair!)

Watching College Football (yawn!)

Celebrating Climbing Up the Stairs (Daddy thought this was a good idea...)

9 months

***This post is very late coming, so I'm posting it for the benefit of family and friends. 10 month post coming very soon...before Zoe turns 11 months. Novel idea, huh?***

**Sorry about the bad formatting and spacing. Blogger isn't working for me tonight.**

Dear Zoe,

You're 9 months old, pumpkin! 9 months...wow!!! You've officially been in our arms just as long as you were in Mommy's belly. I can't believe it. After I gave birth to you, I really missed having you in my belly. While I don't miss it quite as much anymore, there's still part of me that wishes I could turn back the hands of time even if for a minute because I've almost forgotten what it felt like when you used to kick me or twist and turn inside of me. Those were some precious moments between the two of us. But there's nothing like holding and kissing you now, hearing your sweet little giggles or being greeted by your excited and loving smile. Both experiences (then and now) are equally amazing; I'm so blessed.

The big event this month is that you're officially standing on your own while holding on to things!! Yay Zoe!!! This development was so exciting for you that you practiced it at bedtime for about two weeks. It used to be that when Mommy laid you down in your crib you would roll over to your tummy and sleep. Not this month. Instead, you would roll to your tummy, which apparently triggered something in your brain to then sit up, which in turn triggered an impulse to stand. And once you were standing you didn't want to be in your crib anymore which led to whining and crying. Some nights we "fought" for over an hour. Whew!

To Mommy and Daddy's dismay, you learned to pinch this month. OUCH! You love pinching us and you have a knack for finding the most tender spots to pinch such as our faces, our arms and Mommy's breasts (for you, the closer to the nipple the better....oh my). I hope you outgrow this soon. You also discovered Daddy's chest hair this month and you love to pull it with all your might.

You've started making lots of silly noises. The newest, which is pretty funny, involves you clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth. You love doing this.

Mommy and Daddy are still making your food. This month we introduced pumpkin, asparagus and bananas. Bananas have proven to be quite the adventure because even one tablespoon constipates you. And I'm talking bad constipation. One morning you grunted so hard and for so long that you couldn't even sleep and all the grunting made you weak and fussy. Mommy and Daddy felt so badly for you that we called your pediatrician for help. After loading you up with a lot of fruit you finally had a good poo, but it took some time. We have decided to remove bananas from your diet.

We started giving you real baths this month. After graduating from your portable baby tub, Mommy and Daddy started showering with you. You love, love, love showers with Mommy and Daddy, and we love them, too. However, we don't want to rob you of the childhood fun of baths, plus we think allowing you to sit alone in the tub will help you get used to water for purposes of your swim classes. So far so good. You seem to enjoy your baths. Mommy and Daddy try to make it a lot of fun for you. You're such a big girl!

This month you've developed full-blown stranger anxiety. You do not enjoy meeting new people, no matter who they are. We spent a lot of time with Nana this month after her surgery and you would not go to her for quite some time. You have to warm up to people before you'll allow them to hold you. Mommy and Daddy have mixed feelings about this stage. Although we don't want you to have a terrifying fear of new people, especially family and friends, we do want you to have a healthy fear of strangers for your own protection. It will be interesting to see how this all develops. For now Mommy and Daddy take your anxiety seriously and respect it, thus we do not force you into uncomfortable situations. If you're not comfortable, we just hold you and reassure you; that's what Mommy's and Daddy's do. We love you, pumpkin. Just take your time.

You're very playful, Zoe. You absolutely love playing peek-a-boo. You just love it! You also enjoy when we ask you to find Mommy/Daddy. It's so touching to know that you definitely know who we are; we love seeing you search for us when prompted to do so. You love clapping hands, but not your own. Rather, when asked to do so, you will clap Mommy's or Daddy's hands. It's so cute and you love doing it. Nowadays your favorite toys aren't toys at all. Instead, you love playing with the dishwasher when we have it open (you love to unload it as we're loading it), you love door stoppers (you love hearing the springing noise they making), you literally attack our laptops (which is one of the reasons I'm so behind on blogging...we can't use our laptops in your presence), and you love exploring closets (you especially love playing with Daddy's shoes).

Zoe, every month with you has been and continues to be magical. Mommy and Daddy love you with everything we have!

Love you to pieces,

Mommy

9 month photo

Zoe's Favorite Toy

Zoe's Other Favorite "Toy"

I LOVE THIS GIRL!