The Baby D Story

9 Months

2011-12-29T22:42:00.002-06:00

Dear Zachary,

You're 9 months old, sweetie! Can you believe it?! Mommy can't! Where is the time going?! You're growing up far too fast. Slow down!!

You're becoming more vocal. You "talk" to us all the time and have the sweetest spirit. You are such a happy baby, unless you're sleepy or hungry. Speaking of sleep and hunger, you're a great sleeper and a great eater. You are sleeping much longer stretches at night. For awhile I thought you were officially sleeping through the night, but you switched it up on us recently and started waking in the middle of the night again. I think we're close to you sleeping through the night consistently, though, so I'm not discouraged. You are a phenomenal eater! We recently discovered the one and only food you do not like (yet!), which is yogurt. You make some of the worst faces when you eat it. We'll keep trying. You absolutely love mangocado (pureed mango and avocado), though. New foods this month, besides mango and avocado, are carrots and apples. We'll start some meats and lentils next month. We are enjoying making your food. It's great knowing exactly what's going into your little body, which is nothing but organic goodness.

It looks like you're about to cut your first tooth soon because your gums are bulging in the area of your top front teeth. Your sister didn't get her first tooth until she was almost one, so I'm not ready for you to get teeth yet. This is just another reminder that you're growing up. :( I'm also nervous about biting since you're still breastfed, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

The big event this month is that you celebrated your FIRST CHRISTMAS!!! You had a great time opening gifts (read: chewing on the wrapping paper and bows). Your attention span for opening gifts was very low, but that's to be expected. You got a whole new crop of toys that are especially for you, including several really cool trucks and cars. It's fun seeing our home fill up with "boy stuff."

You continue to pull up to the standing position every chance you get, and you're starting to cruise more and more along items. I don't think you'll be walking anytime soon because you prefer standing stationary to cruising and you're not yet standing unassisted, but I could be wrong. Time will tell.

Zachary, you light up our lives. We are so blessed to have you. You truly make my heart smile. I love you so much, son!

XOXO,
Mommy

Self-imposed Time Out

2011-12-22T14:19:00.004-06:00

Zoe put herself in time out yesterday. Why you might ask? Because, according to her, she was mean and didn't want to talk to the San.ta ornament on the Christmas tree. She sat in the kitchen for her self-imposed time out and when she was finished she told "San.ta" she would talk to him now. LOL. Zoe is a hoot!!! She makes us laugh every day.

On the 6th Day of Christmas....

2011-12-19T14:15:00.001-06:00

...[Jesus] brought to me....a-sleeping-through-the-night-baby! At almost 9 months old, Zachary is officially sleeping through the night!!! Yay!!! Thank you, Jesus!! I'm still trying to master going to bed shortly after he does, but it feels so good waking up after several uninterrupted hours of sleep. Best Christmas present ever! :)

8 Months

2011-11-29T17:50:00.000-06:00

Dear Zachary,

You're 8 months old! 8 months, as is 2/3 of a year old. Milestones and time seem to move faster with you than they did with your sister. Slow down, baby boy, you're growing too fast and Mommy's heart can't take it. I just love you so much, Zachary!

Your big development this month is you're standing up! Not in the unassisted, standing on your own, way, because you need support, but you LOVE to pull yourself up to the standing position every chance you get. Daddy recently pulled out your sister's old music tables for you to stand and play with, and you love these new toys.

You don't like to be held as much lately. If you're not being held to nurse, you want to be on the floor playing. You're still combat crawling, and you're still super fast. You are curious about everything. You definitely know your name, which has been the case for awhile, but it's fun when you come to us when we say "Zachary, come to Mommy (or Daddy)." It is also funny when you crawl and follow us around when you're tired and want to be picked up.

This is nothing new, but you love to suck on your fingers. Daddy often jokes and says your hands seem to be spring loaded to land in your mouth. Initially, we thought you might be a thumb sucker, but it is now evident that you love all of your fingers.

We've added more food to your menu this month. You have tried sweet potatoes, butternut squash, green peas and prunes (for constipation). You are such an eager eater. You love your solids.

Zachary, you add a special warmth to our family. Your sweet face makes me smile. You are a pure joy. I'm so blessed to be your mother.

XOXO,
Mommy

Look Who's Pulling Up! (7.5 months)

2011-11-22T18:30:00.002-06:00

Zachary has been pulling up to his knees for the past few weeks, but today he went a step further and pulled himself up to the standing position on the love seat. I can't believe how much faster he's reaching these milestones compared to Zoe. I guess it goes to show that every child IS different. I hope he doesn't rush to walk because he is ALL boy, and I know he'll be running us ragged! Oh, when Zachary stood up, I rushed to get my camera, of course. Being the camera lover that he is, Zachary got excited just as I was snapping my third picture of him and he fell straight back. Oops! He cried a little bit, but he recovered quickly. That was a good reminder that he's still unstable, although he's reaching milestones quicker, so we need to spot him more closely. It's funny what you forget the second time around (or how vigilant parents are the first time around). :)

Without further ado, here's our big boy:

7 Months!

2011-10-29T01:03:00.000-05:00

**Family and friends (if anyone is still out there....I'm going to start working on updating my blog. Please be patient with me. I'm so excited to get back to blogging!)

Dear Zachary,

You are 7 months old! How can that be???? It seems like I was *just* gazing into your eyes for the first time. Wow!

You are such a blessing. Between you and me, I have always been so partial to girls. When I was pregnant with you, I couldn't decide if I wanted a girl or a boy. I now feel foolish for any conflict I had because you are a pure joy, and I am completely smitten with you. I feel so blessed that I get to experience the joys of raising "one of each."

In the past month you started solids! We started you with brown rice cereal, which you thought was just okay and then moved on to oatmeal, which you absolutely LOVE. You fit in quite well in our family because we are all oatmeal lovers, and it is a common breakfast around here. Vegetables are next. We can't wait, and I'm sure you can't either.

This month you perfected your combat crawl. Initially, you would rock back and forth on your legs and then drop to your belly. Now you don't bother getting on your knees at all, so you may be an exclusive combat crawler. You are so fast and so curious. I often joke with Daddy about the fact that you will require us to baby proof, which we didn't have to do with your sister. You are already opening the lowest drawer on the TV console and you love making your way to power cords. Oh boy!

You still aren't sleeping through the night, but you are falling into some predictable sleep patterns, which is nice. Mommy brings you to our bed when you wake up for the first time at night and you just side lie with me and nurse at your leisure for the remainder of the night. It works for both of us and allows Mommy to get a little more rest, especially on the days I work.

You are still such a friendly baby. You generously share your sweet little smile with new people and your eyes just sparkle when you smile. One of your favorite people to smile at, besides Mommy and Daddy, is your big sister, Zoe. It is very apparent that you already look up to her. You love to watch her and she can easily make you laugh. It is so sweet watching the two of you together.

The highlight of this month was the Sta.te Fa.ir of Te.xas! It was a first for Zoe, and you, obviously. Although you just hung out in the Bj.orn on Mommy and Daddy, you seemed to enjoy looking at all the bright colors, hearing all the new sounds and watching all the people. You also took time for a nice snooze.

I love you so much, Zachary, and I'm so delighted God chose me to be your Mommy! I look forward to what the next month will hold.

My love always,
Mommy

Zachary is Here!

2011-04-01T17:37:00.003-05:00

We are officially a family of four! Zachary Alexander made his debut at 2:21am on March 29. He was 3 weeks early, weighing in at a whopping 5 pounds 3 ounces, measuring 17 1/4 inches long. I am so behind on my blog, and I really thought I would have time to update my blog before he was born. I guess not. The last 8 (or so) weeks of my pregnancy were quite eventful. My pregnancy went from uncomplicated to having some bumps in the road in the matter of one innocent ultrasound. All of that later, including Zachary's birth story (sneak peek: I had to have a c-section, which I DID NOT want...boooo!!!!)

Welcome to the world, Zachary! Mommy, Daddy and Big Sister Zoe already love you very much.

We Saw the Goods!

2010-11-17T22:42:00.004-06:00

Monday was my second trimester screening. Everything looked GREAT with Baby D2. The heart had four chambers, the brain looked wonderful and all organs were present and accounted for. The doctor gave us a very high degree of reassurance that there's no concern for Do.wn Syn.dro.me or spi.na bif.ida. (Each of these are of high risk in an over age 35 pregnancy) Praise the Lord for a great report!!!

After the important stuff, we went on to the fun stuff. The goods! Girl or boy?! Well, we are excited to know we're expecting a baby boy! A son! Admittedly, I feel clueless about what to do with a boy after raising a girl for nearly two years, but I know we'll figure it all out. I'm thrilled to have "one of each" and to experience the joys of having a daughter and a son! We feel very fortunate and so very blessed!

Time to Potty Train?

2010-11-17T22:30:00.002-06:00

Zoe has recently been showing an interest in using the toilet. We haven't purchased her a potty chair just yet, and I'm not certain we will. We may just transition her from her diaper to the toilet to make potty training a one-step process, rather than a two-step process (i.e., training first on a potty chair and later moving up to the toilet). Anyway, I digress. The first indication that Zoe may be ready to potty train is that she started grabbing at her diaper frequently after peeing and at times seemed bothered by her wet diaper. Zoe has never been bothered by a wet diaper; she never even cried when wet when she was an infant. Trevor bought her a book about potty training, which I read to her one night. Immediately after reading the book, she pulled down her pants, started tugging at her diaper and was saying "paw pee" (her version of "pee pee", which is so cute). I took her diaper off and sat her on the toilet, but she didn't do anything. I cheered for her nonetheless and SHE flushed the toilet (lol). For several days after this (and even still today), Zoe became obsessed with removing her diaper and wanting to sit on the toilet. She also started removing her diaper while in her crib. She went poo poo (or "paw poo") in her crib once, which required us to start placing her diaper on backwards during naps and bedtime. Trevor also bought Zoe a video about potty training, which we watched last night. Again, Zoe wanted to use the toilet after watching the video. Well, today Zoe said she had to "paw pee" and started pulling at her pants and diaper. We sat her on the toilet and.....SHE PEED!!!! After she peed she said "wipe?" and after we wiped her, she again flushed the toilet. She peed on the toilet a total of four times this evening, each time by her request!!! We don't want to rush her, but she's definitely starting to show signs of readiness. I guess we'll follow her lead.

Breastfeeding While Pregnant

2010-10-15T22:10:00.005-05:00

When I was pregnant with Zoe, I knew I would attempt to breastfeed my baby. There was no question about it. Breastfeeding didn't start as a magical experience for us. Well, I guess it was magical the first night of Zoe's life, but before we even left the hospital the trouble set in and continued for the first 4.5 weeks of Zoe's life. Once we got nursing fully established, there was no looking back. Initially I wanted to make it to the six month mark. Made it. Then I decided I'd nurse Zoe for a year. No sweat! As I started contemplating weaning her, I realized I couldn't do it, and I didn't want to do it. We had a good thing going, she still really enjoyed it, so why end it. I decided I would nurse Zoe until she turned 18-months and if she hadn't started showing signs of weaning, I'd start the weaning process. Neither happened. My new timeline became 2 years or when I got pregnant. Well, I got pregnant and continued to nurse Zoe. After doing extensive online research, I found plenty to support our continued nursing relationship. While nursing while pregnant is ill-advised for women with a history of pre-term labor, that isn't my story. After my first prenatal appointment, I received Dr. S's blessing to continue nursing Zoe, particularly because we weren't nursing very frequently (at the time, 2-3 times per day). She just urged me to take a calcium supplement to compensate for the extra demand on my calcium stores. So, 20-months later, Zoe is still nursing. Unfortunately, nursing became extremely painful once breast tenderness set in around week 6 of my pregnancy. After two weeks of enduring horrendous pain, I decided to try to wean Zoe down to morning nursings only to manage the discomfort. She cooperated quite well. Now it seems she's ready to wean entirely. The past two mornings she has shown very little interest in nursing. She nurses briefly on one side and then she's "all done." I don't know if the weaning process is because Zoe is ready or if my milk supply has diminished to the point of making nursing pointless. Honestly, I think it's the latter. Regardless of the reason, I'm a little conflicted about the possible shift in our relationship. I'm so pleased that I was able to nurse this long, especially as a 1st generation nursing (and working) mother and given all the issues we had in the beginning. I'm also happy that Zoe is doing the weaning instead of the other way around. I really didn't want to "take" this away from her. I know I'll miss the extra cuddling that nursing provides, but I believe that nursing created an impenetrable bond between Zoe and me, for which I'll be eternally grateful. I'm also happy I've been able to give Zoe such a wonderful gift and lots of good antibodies! Assuming Zoe is in fact weaning, I guess this means I won't be tandem nursing once Baby D2 is born. Trust me, I was fully prepared and willing to do so if necessary. (I'm sure someone would've called Nati.onal Ge.ogra.phic on me!)

13 Weeks

2010-10-13T20:52:00.000-05:00

Baby D2 is 13 weeks in utero today. Morning sickness continues to be the theme of this pregnancy, although it is dissipating. I'm no longer sick all day long. My morning sickness is now primarily late afternoon through the evening. I'm so anxious for this phase to end! Since this is my last week in my 1st trimester, I'm hoping good things are on the horizon. I've also started dealing with heartburn already and it seems that I have sciatica this time around, which I didn't have with Zoe. This pregnancy is starting out much different than Zoe's! I'm hopeful, though, that this pregnancy will be as great and easy as Zoe's.

This week Baby D2 is forming teeth and vocal cords. The baby has formed its fingerprints and veins are visible through his/her see-through skin. The baby's body is becoming more proportional with the head now making up one-third of the body instead of one-half. If Baby D2 is a girl, she already has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. 2 million eggs?! That stat amazed me when I was pregnant with Zoe, and it still amazes me now. The human body is simply amazing!

This week Baby D2 is the size of a peach:

Week 8 (and first prenatal appointment)

2010-09-08T23:34:00.002-05:00

Baby D2 is 8 weeks inutero today. My morning sickness is still in full force and effect. Today was my first prenatal appointment. It was so great seeing Dr. S again. Seeing her today reminded me of how much I like her. I'm so excited she'll be delivering Baby D2. She seemed excited to see us. She greeted me with a hug, which was endearing. It was also her first time seeing Zoe since she was 6 weeks (and fast asleep in her car seat). After my 6 week postpartum check-up with Zoe, I decided to return to my old gynecologist, whom I love (she doesn't deliver babies). I'm quite certain my time with Dr. S will be limited to the delivery of Baby D2, but it's nice being back with her even if for a short few months.

Dr. S prescribed me a new prenatal vitamin with extra vitamin B6, which may help with my morning sickness. I have to take three pills a day, which concerns me because I'm a horrible pill taker! She also wrote me a prescription for an anti-nausea medicine (Zo.fran) if the vitamins don't work. I'm hoping the vitamins do the trick. We'll see.

Baby D2 looked great on ultrasound. We took Zoe to this appointment to include her in the excitement. She whined and was reaching out for me most of the appointment. I think she was a bit afraid by all that was going on. (Dark room, trans vaginal ultrasound, a new person talking to her, Mommy lying back on a table, etc) She quieted down and listened intently, though, when we heard the baby's heartbeat. It was cute. Baby D2 had a nice strong heartbeat. 161 bpm, and s/he was measuring 8 weeks on the dot. My official due date is April 20. I'm curious to see what happens with this little one's birth since Zoe came at 38 weeks.

Baby D2 is growing like made. Over a millimeter per day. Although it's too early to feel it, the baby has started moving his/her tiny little legs and arms, although its toes and fingers are still webbed. Eyelids almost cover the baby's eyes (I wonder if s/he will have blue eyes like Zoe, although they are now turning grayish/greenish in color). Breathing tubes extend from Baby D2's throat to the branches of his/her lungs. The baby's brain continues to develop as nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another. Despite all this development, the baby's external genitalia still haven't formed enough for us to know if it's a boy or a girl. The gender doesn't matter. We just want our little one to be healthy (but who doesn't, right?!).

This week the baby is the size of raspberry (wish I wanted to eat one...):

Week 7

2010-09-01T20:16:00.002-05:00

Baby D2 is 7 weeks inutero today. Similar to Zoe's pregnancy, this first trimester is creeping along. Perhaps the persistent morning sickness I'm experiencing is to blame. My morning sickness has worsened. Thankfully (or not?), I'm not vomiting, but I'm very nauseous. So very nauseous. I'm really anxious for this to pass so I can begin really enjoying my pregnancy. I determined a couple of weeks ago that I was going to exercise regularly with this pregnancy. That worked well until my morning sickness struck. Now all I want to do is lay down every chance I get.

This week we'll call Baby D2 a brainiac because his/her brain is generating at an astonishing one hundred new cells per minute. Wow! Arm and leg joints are starting to form and Baby D2's permanent set of kidneys are forming. The baby's liver is hard at work already, and the pancreas and appendix, which are already formed, will soon begin doing their job as well. I'm truly amazed, even with a second pregnancy, at the work of God. I still do not know how people deny He lives and that we are indeed wonderfully and fearfully made.

This week the baby is the size of a blueberry (I wish I could stomach the idea of eat a blueberry right about now....blah):

Week 6

2010-08-26T22:42:00.004-05:00

Baby D2 is 6 weeks inutero today. This week kicked off my morning sickness. This is different than Zoe's pregnancy. My morning sickness with Zoe started at 10 weeks and ended by week 12. This is only week 6!! Oh Lord, help me!! I'm sick all. day. long. Blah. And I'm soooo tired. Beyond tired. I'm praying this all passes soon, but definitely by the end of my first trimester.

This week, Baby D2's eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin are forming. The baby's hands and feet are webbed like paddles and his/her heart is beating up a storm. Blood is starting to circulate as well. The baby's intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will become lungs is taking shape. Additionally, the pituitary gland, brain, muscles and brain are starting to form.

This week the baby is the size of a sweet pea:

Week 5

2010-08-19T22:50:00.005-05:00

Baby D2 is 5 weeks in utero today! (According to my calculation) Baby D2 and I are at the start of our special journey together. These updates will get longer as we go along because the baby will be growing like crazy and I will have various symptoms to report.

I'm feeling good so far. I'm starting to feel more tired than usual, but that's normal at this stage of pregnancy. I've also been experiencing a lot of abdominal cramps, but that's normal as well as my uterus begin to stretch and expand to host Baby D2 for the next 8+ months.

This week some fun stuff is going on with the baby! All the books say the baby resembles more of a tadpole than a human being. In that case, I'd say this baby is the cutest tadpole ever! :) S/he is made up of three layers--ectoderm, mesoderm and endoderm. Each of these layers will form his/her organs and tissues. Notably, this week the neural tube, which will form the baby's spinal cord, brain, nerves and backbone, is forming. Also, the baby's heart and circulatory system are starting to form.

This week the baby is the size of an apple seed:

Letter to Our New Addition

2010-08-11T12:32:00.004-05:00

Baby D2,

Hello, my sweet little one. I'm your Mommy. Well, Daddy, Zoe and I learned today that you'll soon be joining our family. We now eagerly anticipate your arrival. You're the luckiest baby ever. You have a Mommy and Daddy waiting to shower you with love, and you have the most amazing big sister to show you the ropes. We can't wait to find out if you're a boy or a girl. Regardless, we already love you and can't wait to see your sweet little face.

Grow nice and strong for us, sweetie. We all love you!

Love always,
Mommy

Zoe Is....

2010-08-11T10:00:00.006-05:00

...going to be a big sister! Although we were trying for this baby, it's still surreal to think that our little family of three will soon be a family of four. We know Zoe is going to be a wonderful big sister. She's such a sweet and loving little girl. The next eight months will be consumed with showering Zoe will the love she's already accustomed to receiving and preparing her for the arrival of her baby brother or sister.

Unlike with Zoe's pregnancy, I didn't test alone today. I purposely waited to test at a time we could be together as a family. Before leaving for work, I told Trevor that it was time to take a test. I took the home pregnancy test and promptly delivered it to Trevor to keep an eye on it. I asked if the window said anything yet and Trevor said "no, it's still thinking." About 5 seconds later his eyes got slightly big and he said "it's done thinking." He then handed the test to Zoe and told her to "take this to Mommy." Zoe, being the eager little helper she is, promptly complied and came to me with a huge smile on her face as she delivered the test into my hands. In my heart I already knew what the result was. I peered down and saw the word "PREGNANT." Trevor, Zoe and I had a family hug and then Trevor and I began telling Zoe she was going to be a big sister, to which she replied "huh?" LOL.

I'd be less than honest if I didn't share that shortly after rejoicing at the news, a bit of panic suddenly hit me. I began to cry as I explained to Trevor that I was worried about what this pregnancy means to my relationship with Zoe. I also want my love for this new baby to match the love I have for Zoe. I've heard countless times that God has a way of expanding parents' hearts to fully love all of their children. While I know this to be true, I can't wrap my head around that right now. Zoe and I are so bonded, and I don't want that to change. Of course, I want to share the same bond with Baby D2. I guess the fear of the unknown is consuming me, but I trust the Lord, and I know it will all work out.

We're pregnant!!! Wow!!!

Hide-and-Seek, Zoe Style

2010-08-08T23:07:00.006-05:00

Zoe has long been fascinated with cabinets, drawers, etc, but recently she's discovered the art of sitting inside cabinets. She has a favorite cabinet in the kitchen that she likes to use to play hide-and-seek. When she goes "in" the cabinet (her feet are still hanging out...lol) she says "bye" and when she pops out she says "hi." Of course, we act shocked every time she pops out. She's a hoot! We love this girl to pieces!!! She is so much fun!

Where's Zoe?!

There She Is!

Zoe's "One Year" Photos

2010-08-08T15:22:00.014-05:00

It seems somewhat silly to post Zoe's "one year" photos now that she's 18-months, but we just received our photo disk from the photographer a couple of weeks ago. Memories are extremely important me, as is capturing major milestones (and simple moments) via pictures. For that reason, we've had quarterly professional pictures taken of Zoe starting with her newborn photos. Unfortunately, we hit some bumps in the road with Zoe's one year photos because of inclement weather in February and March (we did an outdoor session) and then a mystery rash that covered Zoe's face, neck, chest and back for over a month (poor baby!). We finally took pictures at the end of April, just before Zoe turned 15-months old. Better late than never, right? The remaining delay was on the photographer's end. Anyway, we're happy to have the photos in hand, and we are so pleased with the way they turned out. Without further ado, here are some of our favorites:

17 Months!

2010-07-06T14:28:00.001-05:00

Dear Zoe,

You're 17 months old, pumpkin! My, how time flies. You have become so much fun. Although it's sad thinking about how fast you're growing, I can honestly say that every new stage is more fun than the stage before. You are doing so many new and exciting things.

First, in terms of physical development, you're getting your 5th tooth. You've handled teething really well. Besides drooling like crazy and chewing on your fingers, occasionally, you wake up at an odd time in the middle of the night or you'll be a little clingy, which I attribute to teething, but you have not experienced any extreme discomfort...at least not that we're aware of. You're becoming very skilled at going up and down the stairs. In fact, you literally try to walk up and down the stairs now. Mommy and Daddy watch you very closely. You've pretty much mastered crawling up and scooting down the stairs. You can point to 15 body parts (hair, ears, eyes, face, nose, teeth, belly, belly button, hands, arms, fingers, legs, knees, toes and feet), and you can point to the same body parts on Mommy and Daddy.

Your speech is really starting to explode. You have added "down, sit down, sit (sounds like an expletive), more (along with sign), "nah" (no), hi and bye (instead of simply waving), up, hot (which sounds like "ha ha hot" as you fan your hand), chicken, "tay" (okay), jeans, spoon, shirt, shoes (also sounds like an expletive), book and bow." Also, when we ask you questions, you respond with "mmm hmmm" (which is your "yes"). It's so cute! Sometimes you also respond to questions or directions you don't understand by responding "hmm" (huh?) until you figure it out. You can understand and complete quite a few multi-step directions. You've mastered five animals sounds--cow, sheep, bird, duck and dog. ("Tweet tweet" is Mommy's favorite....you sound so cute saying it (sounds more like "teet teet"). You're such a fast learner and you're so observant. You amaze us, Zoe.

Oh, you love talking on the phone. Your phone conversations go like this: "Hi! Mmm hmmm, mmm hmmmm, mmm hmmm, Bye!" It's hilarious! You think everything is a phone--remote control, your hand, and recently you used a computer mouse as a phone. LOL.

You continue to use your sign language, although Mommy and Daddy haven't done a good job of adding new words now that you're talking more. The funny thing is the sign for "all done" has become a universal sign for you. In addition to signing "all done" when you're finished eating, you also sign "all done" when a game is getting old to you, if Mommy kisses you one too many times, if you're tired of being chased (which you still love), etc. Sometimes you add "nah" to the "all done" sign....that's when we know you're *really* "all done". LOL.

You love to color. You started art class in June and since then you've wanted to doodle nonstop. Mommy and Daddy bought you an art easel for the house, which you love to stand at to doodle. (We hope this will save our walls...fingers crossed) The funny part is sometimes you try to color with your crayons and pens wrong side up. When Mommy and Daddy attempt to turn your writing tool around, you flip it right back over and try to continue with your doodling. It's pretty funny.

Zoe, you love to dance. You've got rhythm, girl! Recently you added twirling to your dancing. You're becoming such a big girl! You really love music, especially participatory songs. You love to hold Mommy's and Daddy's hands and twirl for "Ring-Around-the-Rosies" and you fall just before "we all fall down" and say "down" as you're falling. You can do all the hand movements for "Itsy Bitsy Spider", you point to the relevant body parts for "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" (although there's always a little delay) and you bark when you hear "B-I-N-G-O". You're hilarious!

You're still a little peanut (you weighed 20 lbs. and you measured 31 inches at a recent doctor's appointment). You're a picky eater, although you like to eat things that are good for you. Your favorite foods are broccoli, green beans, yogurt, rice, black beans, various types of fruit and pasta marinara. You're suspicious of meat, but occasionally you'll surprise us and down some chicken or fish.

I'm sure there are many things I missed, but these are the highlights I jotted down over the past month. Zoe, Mommy and Daddy are in awe of you and remain incredibly proud of you. I can never say it enough....you are the light of our lives. We love you so much, sweet girl. I can't wait to see what the next month holds in store!

My love always,
Mommy

Our Little Shopper

2010-07-03T23:11:00.005-05:00

***To my family and friends (if you're still out there): I'm sorry this blog is so grossly outdated. Life is busier than ever for some reason. Rather than catching up, I'm going to "keep up" and work on Zoe's old monthly posts as time permits. Now, on to the post...***

Zoe enjoys pushing things. Chairs, her stroller, doors, whatever. If it can be pushed, she's pushing it! We recently visited a grocery store that has small grocery carts to be pushed by its smallest of patrons. Zoe had a blast pushing her grocery cart. She had a few crashes along the way (which she acknowledged by saying "boom"), but there was no stopping her....until we got to the bread and candy aisle. Zoe does not eat candy, but she was determined to place three bags of chocolate in her cart. When we removed said bags from her cart, she politely picked them back up and returned them to her cart. LOL. I think a toy shopping cart of her own will be added to our toy "wish list" for Zoe. (We're trying to pace ourselves so our home doesn't become a mini toy store, but it's hard to do with so many cute toys on the market) Zoe also enjoyed pushing the cart against the shelves. Price tags were flying off left and right, but Zoe, being the sweet heart that she is, made sure to stop and pick up the debris she was leaving behind. As a friend aptly pointed out, pushing the cart against the shelves probably helped her keep her cart going straight; good point. Zoe's one smart cookie!

Zoe also enjoys riding in the shopping carts that have little cars attached to the front. She's so proud to "drive" the basket around the store. If the car has two steering wheels, she takes great pleasure if driving with both steering wheels. That's what I call talent!

Zoe returning her chocolates to her cart:

Zoe "driving" through the store:

Our Budding Artist?

2010-07-03T22:46:00.003-05:00

Zoe started her first "art" class on June 14. The class is called Dri.bbles and Scri.bbles and is offered at the children's mus.eum. The program theme for the summer is "Carnival of Animals." Each class starts with a quick story time and ends with music and instruments. The toddlers are exploring different animal shapes using different art media. Unfortunately we had to miss week #3 because Zoe wasn't feeling well, but in the first two weeks we've used finger paints, regular paint using brushes (at the art easel), paint dotters and painting with toilet paper rolls (who knew?). Each week Zoe creates a new piece of art and is supposed to add something to her personal canvas. At the end of the eight week session, she will have a canvas that contains a sample of each art medium used. Although this is supposed to be Zoe's art class, it feels like Mommy and Daddy are taking art classes because we're doing more art work than Zoe. Go figure! (But Zoe is personally adding to her canvas (except for a few dots from Daddy during week #2), so it'll be fun to display her art in her future play room) This class is confirming that Zoe, at least up to this point, is a girly girl because she does not like getting paint on her hands. It's pretty funny.

After each art class, we spend time playing in the children's mus.eum. I was able to convince my dear friend, Julie, to enroll her daughter, Kendall, in Zoe's art class. It's so fun watching Kendall and Zoe explore and play together.

Our Budding Artist

(Zoe loves spending time at the easel)

Week 1 Masterpiece (plus Zoe working on her canvas)

Scribbling with the "dotters"...Zoe wouldn't "dot" the paper.

Distressed by the paint on her hands.
Relieved to be washing her hands.

Week 2 Masterpieces

Playtime at the children's mus.eum

Zoe and Kendall...notice that Kendall actually looks like she's been to art class...I love it!

Zoe enjoyed squeezing the cow's teats at the museum's little farm

Standing at the silly mirrors....look at those legs

Zoe's First Birthday Party

2010-02-07T22:15:00.000-06:00

Zoe's first birthday party is in the books! I always said I’d never throw a birthday party for a one-year-old, but I guess the old adage “never say never” really is true. As Zoe’s birthday started approaching, it only seemed appropriate to celebrate her big day in a special way, especially because our families are spread throughout the state and country. Rather than having an adult get-together, which is commonly what a first birthday party becomes, it was important to us to celebrate Zoe in a way that she could enjoy, so we hired Kin.dermu.sic to come to our home to conduct an age-appropriate music activity for all the kids to enjoy, and we tried to invite mostly babies. Initially, we were going to use a Baby E.inst.ein theme for Zoe's party, but as the decorations and party ware started arriving at our home, the theme suddenly felt too masculine for a girl's party. After some deliberation and searching around, the party morphed into a "cupcake" theme for the sweetest little girl on Earth! We had a blast!! The party was beyond perfect! Below are some pictures from the party. We hired a photographer to take pictures so we could focus on Zoe and be fully present for her party, which was well worth the money because we literally have hundreds of special pictures that we’ll treasure forever. I wish I could post them all here, but that's impossible.

The Birthday Girl

(I fell in love with this pettiskirt outfit, complete with a fluffy "cupcake" shirt)

Welcome Song - Everyone Sang Hello to Zoe

The Party Animals
(This picture cracks me up ~ a whole range of emotions going on and some of the babies refused to wear their hats...lol)

Our Little Family
Group Photo

Zoe's First Cake!!!
(She wasn't very impressed)

Zoe Loved Sharing Her Cake with Mommy and Daddy

Zoe was the First Baby to Leave her Party

(Zoe was pooped! She missed her nap due to all the excitement leading up to the party. It was hard for her to unwind in her crib, so she ended up napping on Mommy's chest as we said good-bye to our guests.)

Decorations
(I had fun with the decorations (and I had some made). My dear friends from Houston and San Antonio, and my sweet husband, helped me decorate into the wee hours of the morning)

Each baby received a favor bag with a cupcake shaped magnetic picture frame (duck frame for the boys), mini maracas, a Kin.der.mus.ic CD, and bubbles). Each family took home a box of gourmet cupcake mix.

This door tag greeted our guests. It says "Zoe's Cupcake Factory."

12 Months Old

2010-02-06T21:42:00.001-06:00

Dear Zoe,

You're one?!?! Although this is such an exciting milestone, it's also a little sad for Mommy. I guess the appropriate phrase to use is "bittersweet." It amazes me that you've been with us in the flesh for a year. I can't believe that one year ago today I held you in my arms for the first time. I'll never forget that moment or when our eyes first met. What a special time, what an amazing day! This morning, before busying myself with preparing for your birthday party, you and I had some quiet time in bed. (Daddy was at work for the morning) Of course, you had no idea what today was, so you were just playing and doing your own thing. I talked to you and told you how special you are and how very much I love you. As I expressed my love to (and for) you, I could only cry. I must have cried for at least 15-20 minutes as I reflected over our first year together. Being your Mommy has been amazing and such an honor. You are such a blessing, Zoe!

You're doing so many fun things now. The most exciting to report is that two days ago you started....WALKING!!! Yay Zoe!!! Mommy was working from home the day you started walking because you had your first little cold. I was in the office working and daddy called me out to watch what you were doing. I was amazed as I watched you take those first steps. I'm so thankful that I didn't miss this milestone! Although you're definitely walking, you are still getting steady on your feet, and you still have to learn to stand back up when you fall. Mommy and Daddy just marvel at you, Zoe!

You now have two bottom teeth, and you're quite efficient at using them. You can now wave "hi", and you love squealing as loud as you possibly can for no apparent reason. You say "Dada" like crazy, but you're still working on "Mama". You have started eating a lot of finger foods as you gain independence, but one of your favorite foods of all time, which requires spoon feeding, is plain yogurt (sometimes we mix in a fruit puree). You'd eat yogurt all day, every day, if we let you. Speaking of food, you absolutely love sharing your food with Mommy and Daddy. You even shared your birthday cake with us! :-) You are super busy exploring the world around you, and with each new discovery or accomplishment, you stand and clap for yourself. Of course, Mommy and Daddy clap, too. Your favorite game is quickly becoming "peek-a-boo". You've started to learn how to cover your own eyes (sometimes you get close to your eyes, other times you don't, but you don't know or care...lol). You also love pulling Mommy's or Daddy's hands off our faces for the "boo" part of "peek-a-boo". You love climbing over things and people (mostly Daddy) to get from one item (or side of the room) to another. You're so playful and light-hearted. You're truly a sweet little girl.

What an amazing first year, Zoe! Mommy and Daddy love you so very much! You're an amazing little girl. You're beautiful inside and out. You're affectionate, happy, funny, loveable, kind and so much more. You're just perfect. Happy Birthday, Zoe!!!

My love ALWAYS,
Mommy

The Birthday Girl!

Happy Birthday, Zoe!

2010-02-06T21:41:00.001-06:00

Our sweet Zoe is one! I cannot believe it has been a year since we first held her. Where has the time gone?! We celebrated Zoe's first year with a super fun cupcake-themed party. Pictures and a first year post to come soon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZOE!!! Mommy and Daddy love you!

Zoe's First Cold

2010-01-18T20:23:00.003-06:00

Today Zoe started showing symptoms of a cold. Runny nose, watery eyes and a slight cough. I breaks my heart to know she's feeling a little crummy. I wish I could just wish the cold away. Trevor and I prayed over Zoe, and we hope this cold will run it's cold very quickly. Feel better soon, baby girl. :-(

Our Little Helper

2010-01-11T21:57:00.009-06:00

Zoe loves helping Trevor and I do things around the house. Whether it be loading (or unloading) the dishwasher, putting clothes in the washer or dryer, or putting laundry away, Zoe is right there eager to help. I hope Zoe's this eager to help out when she's a teenager. Here's our sweet Zoe in action:

Is this what you need Mommy?

Helping Daddy load dishes

Putting away groceries

Helping put laundry...away?

Putting clothes in the dryer

10 months

2010-01-11T21:56:00.002-06:00

**Another late post. I'm getting caught up though.**

Dear Zoe,

We're in the double digits....you're 10 months old! I can't believe that it's already time to start brainstorming for your first birthday party. It seems as though Mommy and Daddy just brought you home.

In the last month it seems like you've just "come to life" so to speak because you have become so alert, aware and engaged in the world around you. Mommy and Daddy are really enjoying watching you grow and learn.

When you were newborn we used to call you our little squirm worm because you squirmed so much. Now you really squirm a lot. You hardly can sit still which makes ordinary tasks such as combing your hair or cutting your nails a real chore. I often try to foolishly reason with you to sit still. Hah! Silly Mommy! You can, however, be bribed into sitting still if I give you a remote control (not an old one either, it has to be an actively used remote....you can't be fooled) or my Bla.ckb.erry. Speaking of the remote control and Bla.ckb.erry, you LOVE technology! I guess most babies do though. Daddy and I joke and say that you can do with one swipe of the hand things we never knew possible with the remote, Bla.ckb.erry, our phones, our laptops, you name it. You're our little compute whiz. And you love setting appointments on our phones. One day Daddy's calendar alarm sounded on his phone with the appointment description "pppp". LOL.

I hesitate to say this because I don't want to jinx it, but you're finally sleeping through the night. One evening I noticed you seemed pretty tired at 6:45, which was well in advance of your previous 8:30 bedtime. Following your cues, I took you upstairs for the bedtime routine and you were in your crib fast asleep by 7:30....and you slept until 6:00! When you woke up Mommy brought you to bed to nurse you and you went right back to sleep until 8:15!! This trend has continued although your wake time varies between 7:45-8:15am. Now Mommy and Daddy need to work on getting to bed earlier so we can benefit from the extra sleep you're dishing out these days. We're so proud of you, sweetness. It makes us feel so good when we know you get good rest. We're still working on your naps, but we rejoice that the evenings seem to be solved.

This month you started saying "dadada" although it's not specifically directed toward Daddy (yet!). When I ask you to say "mama", you say "yaya". I believe that means "mama" in your mind, although it's not specifically directed toward Mommy. It's just so exciting hearing you "talk" and seeing you attempt to communicate with us.

You're beginning to understand and respond to simple commands such as "sit down", "where's Gy.mbo" (your little clown from Gy.mbo.ree), "give kisses", "where's your peek-a-boo book", "where's mommy/daddy", and "clap mommy's/daddy's hands" (interestingly, you won't clap your own hands). You also learned where your nose, eyes and mouth are this month; you learned this very fast. Now if we ask you where your nose is, you lean in to our hand or arm and touch it with your nose. You're inconsistent with showing us your eyes and mouth, but you definitely know where they are. Zoe, Mommy and Daddy think you are the most amazing and most intelligent baby EVER!!! :-)

After doing some research on the topic, Mommy and Daddy decided to teach you baby si.gn lan.gu.age. We are starting with simple signs that are pertinent to your current interests: "milk", "eat", "more", and "all gone/all done". You haven't started signing back (yet), but you do seem to understand the signs, particularly the one for "milk" because when you see it you sometimes will lean in towards the breast. We're so excited about giving you a mechanism to communicate with us until you learn how to communicate more verbally.

This month, as advertised, you developed separation anxiety from Mommy. Some days the anxiety is worse than others, but it's not uncommon for you not to want me out of your sight. I often have to play peek-a-boo and slowly walk out of room to get out of your sight. Although separation anxiety combined with your continued stranger anxiety can be tough on me, I'm okay with it because I know it's just a phase. Mommy is committed to giving you the comfort and reassurance you need during this time. I love you so much, Zoe!

In terms of motor skills, you have become a much faster crawler in the last month. You still do this silly little crab crawl with one knee and one foot, but it's a fast crab crawl! And it's so cute. You also love standing. You stand so much and cruise along stationary objects. We've even caught you standing unassisted for a brief second or two. You're getting so strong.

Oh, this month you saw your first bit of snow! It was a huge surprise for all of us. You weren't too impressed.

Zoe, you are so very loved. Mommy and Daddy simply adore you. You are the best thing that has happened to us as a couple. We love you very very much!

Hug, kisses and all my love,

Mommy

10 Month Photo

First Snow!

Standing Tall

First Bubble Bath

(notice the bow in Zoe's hand...she snagged this from a Christmas present and wouldn't let it go)

Cutie Pie

(Zoe loves chewing on the phone)

Tipping the Work-Life Balance Scale in my Favor

2009-12-27T00:28:00.003-06:00

After five months of working full-time and attempting a frustrating and tiring balancing act, I'm happy to say the scale is tipping in my favor. Effective January 1, I will be a part-time attorney at my firm! I feel so fortunate to work for a progressive firm that makes it possible for women to practice law while working part-time. Mostly, I thank the Lord for directing my steps and softening the hearts of all the decision makers.

I know the debate over being a SAHM and a working mom is a very real one and emotions (and tempers) can run high. I believe that the decision is a personal one, and I think it is very disrespectful for someone to impose their opinion on the matter on another person. Each mother and each family has to do what works best for them, but none of it should be to the detriment of the child(ren). I know many women who work full-time and lead very successful and happy lives and their children thrive. I know other women that aren't that great at striking the balance and/or are miserable doing it. To each her own.

For me....I have not enjoyed the non-stop treadmill I've been on the past five months. And the scary thing is I haven't been working as hard as I would otherwise have to due to the economy slowing down legal work. Even still, my days since returning to work in August have increasingly become more challenging. I have hit a point of feeling inadequate in every area of my life. Again, I'm speaking for myself. I feel inadequate as a wife, as a mother and as an attorney. I feel like I give each role in my life "just enough" to get by. If I'm honest, my role as a mother is probably where I succeed the most, but it's still not as much as I want to give. And I feel like I have absolutely nothing left over for myself. No time to exercise (but that's a different story altogether), no time for adequate personal maintenance (I really miss having time to pamper), no time for personal quiet time with the Lord (where is my Bible by the way???), no time to spend with friends or keep up with them by phone, no time for blogging (hence the huge time gaps on this blog), and no time to just do, well, nothing.

In my new role as a part-time attorney, I will only be working Tuesday through Thursday. I'm excited to have two more days at home with Zoe completely focused and engaged with her. I think she needs this right now. And I know I need it because she's growing so fast. Trevor has been home with Zoe Tuesday through Thursday, so this arrangement eliminates the need for any form of child care. For that we are both extremely thankful. I used to think I was okay with the thought of child care, but after holding Zoe for the first time something inside of me changed. I just couldn't (and still can't) imagine someone else caring for her. No one will ever care for Zoe better than Trevor and I will, so why even go there?! I know we are very blessed to have the ability to arrange for Zoe's care in the manner that we have. Perhaps that's why I'm so resolved about not putting Zoe in daycare or hiring a nanny....because we have a choice and we don't have to use those options. I recognize not everyone has this choice.

This arrangement is not without its sacrifices. The most obvious sacrifice is financial as I'll take a cut in pay, but it's absolutely worth it. The most significant sacrifice, however, is the sacrifice of time as a family since Trevor is now working weekends. It's tough accepting the fact that we can't live our lives as most families. No weekend birthday parties as a family. No church as a family. No Sunday dinners as a family. In fact, most of what we do as a family is crammed into three weekdays that are also filled with work for me. But it's all worth it. For now. Eventually, as Zoe grows, we may feel differently. But for now the scales are tipping in my (our) favor and I couldn't be happier! I hope this change will help me feel a little more adequate as a wife, mother, and attorney. I'm not so confident that it will help my personal well-being as it's only two additional days and I'll be alone most of this time with Zoe, but we'll see. One day at a time. Here's to a new (more effective?) balancing act.

Zoe's First....

2009-12-24T01:08:00.000-06:00

....pigtail! After giving Zoe a bath recently, I was combing her hair and realized how long it's gotten on top. The hair on the sides and back are still trying to catch up. I thought it would be fun to see how a lone pigtail looked on Zoe. I think she looks darling. See for yourself:

Thankful Indeed

2009-11-28T21:54:00.003-06:00

I have plenty to be thankful for this year. Plenty. But what I'm especially thankful for this year is my beautiful daughter. I'm so blessed to be her mommy.

Zoe's New Discovery

2009-11-22T22:07:00.008-06:00

While Trevor was doing dishes one day and holding Zoe in the Mo.by wrap, Zoe discovered her Daddy's chest hair. It was quite hilarious (to me) and painful (for Trevor).

To distract Zoe from her new discovery, we added some protection for Trevor. Look close. It didn't quite work out, but we tried. Ha!

In a League of His Own

2009-11-22T21:04:00.003-06:00

**Apologies for the awful format...Blogger is giving me editing blues**

Where did the time go?! Trevor took three months off to stay home with Zoe upon my return to work. I'm so thankful that between the two of us we were able to provide for Zoe's care for nine months. What a blessing!

Trevor did a fantastic job with Zoe! It was beautiful to watch the two of them bond in a special way, especially since he spends a lot of time on the road when he works.

From a personal perspective, having Trevor home my first three months back to work was great. In the early days, particularly when I was extremely emotional about leaving Zoe to return to work, Trevor's presence was a saving grace. He brought Zoe downtown to have lunch frequently, and when I got home from work each night, he took care of dinner so I could be completely engaged with Zoe and reconnect with her. That meant so much to me. He's amazing! And added bonus was getting three months of living like a normal family. Again, because of the Trevor's job, he's on the road a lot, so it was great to live like "normal" families do.

In terms of Zoe's day-to-day care, Trevor picked up where I left off with the good and the bad. Unfortunately, I was extremely unsuccessful in getting Zoe on a schedule while I was on maternity leave, so Trevor inherited days full of erratic sleeping. I was also bad about introducing Zoe to the bottle, so the first several days (okay, all three months actually) were a transition as Trevor tried to get Zoe used to the bottle after she had exclusively nursed, with a few limited exceptions, for 6 months. He handled it like a trooper!

Trevor faithfully took Zoe to her weekly Gy.mb.oree play classes even though he was usually the only daddy there. I think I was the envy of all the women, and in some respects I think Trevor was the envy of a lot of the dads. One of the moms, whom I befriended while I was on maternity leave, e-mailed me once to rave about how lucky I was to have such an involved husband. I couldn't agree more. Trevor was also diligent about doing educational/developmental things with Zoe such as her color, first words and shapes flash cards and reading books to her.

Most notably, Trevor accepted one of the Gy.mb.oree moms' invitations to go on a "play date." It was pretty hilarious, but in the end he enjoyed it. They went to the Dal.las Arb.oretum, which I hear is beautiful...I can't wait to go with Trevor and Zoe one day.

During their time together, Trevor subjected Zoe to lots of sports programming! He's convinced that she loves golf and football now. I cringe at the thought. :-)

Trevor, thank you for being such a fabulous husband and daddy. Zoe and I are extremely blessed to have you in our lives; we're lucky to be your girls.

We love you!

On Their Playdate (and yes, Trevor put the bow in Zoe's hair!)

Watching College Football (yawn!)

Celebrating Climbing Up the Stairs (Daddy thought this was a good idea...)

9 months

2009-11-06T00:02:00.000-06:00

***This post is very late coming, so I'm posting it for the benefit of family and friends. 10 month post coming very soon...before Zoe turns 11 months. Novel idea, huh?***

**Sorry about the bad formatting and spacing. Blogger isn't working for me tonight.**

Dear Zoe,

You're 9 months old, pumpkin! 9 months...wow!!! You've officially been in our arms just as long as you were in Mommy's belly. I can't believe it. After I gave birth to you, I really missed having you in my belly. While I don't miss it quite as much anymore, there's still part of me that wishes I could turn back the hands of time even if for a minute because I've almost forgotten what it felt like when you used to kick me or twist and turn inside of me. Those were some precious moments between the two of us. But there's nothing like holding and kissing you now, hearing your sweet little giggles or being greeted by your excited and loving smile. Both experiences (then and now) are equally amazing; I'm so blessed.

The big event this month is that you're officially standing on your own while holding on to things!! Yay Zoe!!! This development was so exciting for you that you practiced it at bedtime for about two weeks. It used to be that when Mommy laid you down in your crib you would roll over to your tummy and sleep. Not this month. Instead, you would roll to your tummy, which apparently triggered something in your brain to then sit up, which in turn triggered an impulse to stand. And once you were standing you didn't want to be in your crib anymore which led to whining and crying. Some nights we "fought" for over an hour. Whew!

To Mommy and Daddy's dismay, you learned to pinch this month. OUCH! You love pinching us and you have a knack for finding the most tender spots to pinch such as our faces, our arms and Mommy's breasts (for you, the closer to the nipple the better....oh my). I hope you outgrow this soon. You also discovered Daddy's chest hair this month and you love to pull it with all your might.

You've started making lots of silly noises. The newest, which is pretty funny, involves you clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth. You love doing this.

Mommy and Daddy are still making your food. This month we introduced pumpkin, asparagus and bananas. Bananas have proven to be quite the adventure because even one tablespoon constipates you. And I'm talking bad constipation. One morning you grunted so hard and for so long that you couldn't even sleep and all the grunting made you weak and fussy. Mommy and Daddy felt so badly for you that we called your pediatrician for help. After loading you up with a lot of fruit you finally had a good poo, but it took some time. We have decided to remove bananas from your diet.

We started giving you real baths this month. After graduating from your portable baby tub, Mommy and Daddy started showering with you. You love, love, love showers with Mommy and Daddy, and we love them, too. However, we don't want to rob you of the childhood fun of baths, plus we think allowing you to sit alone in the tub will help you get used to water for purposes of your swim classes. So far so good. You seem to enjoy your baths. Mommy and Daddy try to make it a lot of fun for you. You're such a big girl!

This month you've developed full-blown stranger anxiety. You do not enjoy meeting new people, no matter who they are. We spent a lot of time with Nana this month after her surgery and you would not go to her for quite some time. You have to warm up to people before you'll allow them to hold you. Mommy and Daddy have mixed feelings about this stage. Although we don't want you to have a terrifying fear of new people, especially family and friends, we do want you to have a healthy fear of strangers for your own protection. It will be interesting to see how this all develops. For now Mommy and Daddy take your anxiety seriously and respect it, thus we do not force you into uncomfortable situations. If you're not comfortable, we just hold you and reassure you; that's what Mommy's and Daddy's do. We love you, pumpkin. Just take your time.

You're very playful, Zoe. You absolutely love playing peek-a-boo. You just love it! You also enjoy when we ask you to find Mommy/Daddy. It's so touching to know that you definitely know who we are; we love seeing you search for us when prompted to do so. You love clapping hands, but not your own. Rather, when asked to do so, you will clap Mommy's or Daddy's hands. It's so cute and you love doing it. Nowadays your favorite toys aren't toys at all. Instead, you love playing with the dishwasher when we have it open (you love to unload it as we're loading it), you love door stoppers (you love hearing the springing noise they making), you literally attack our laptops (which is one of the reasons I'm so behind on blogging...we can't use our laptops in your presence), and you love exploring closets (you especially love playing with Daddy's shoes).

Zoe, every month with you has been and continues to be magical. Mommy and Daddy love you with everything we have!

Love you to pieces,

Mommy

9 month photo

Zoe's Favorite Toy

Zoe's Other Favorite "Toy"

I LOVE THIS GIRL!

Zoe's First (and prayerfully, last) Car Accident

2009-10-31T22:47:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was one of my most frightening days as Zoe's mommy. She was in her first car accident. Poor thing! Trevor, Zoe and my mom came downtown to have lunch with me. As they were dropping me off after lunch, I had a strange feeling come over. I can't explain it, but I had a moment of fear that something could happen to my family. The feeling was so strong that I made a point to stress to Trevor to be careful driving home. In response to that admonishment, my mom said a quick prayer for "travel grace and mercy." I said "amen", kissed my family and went back to work. Not more than 15 minutes later my mom called and told me they were just in an accident. My heart sank. The background was eerily quiet, so that scared me. My first question was if Zoe was okay!? My mom assured me that she was. Next I asked if Trevor was okay. Thankfully, he was. And finally I asked my mom if she was okay. Thankfully, she was also okay.

The accident was on the highway and it was a 5 car pile-up; my family was car #4 in said pile-up. Thankfully, traffic was starting to slow down, so no one was traveling as fast as they could have otherwise. Shortly after the accident, Trevor started having a bad headache and pain in the middle of his neck; my mom recently had major abdominal surgery, so she was in pain from the pressure of the seat belt around her waist and she was having neck, shoulder and back pain. Both Trevor and my mom ended up in the ER; both were released with a clean bill of health. Thank God! We took Zoe to get checked out by her pediatrician; she, too, got a clean bill of health. Again, thank God! As a safety precaution, we bought Zoe a new car seat today. We'll worry about getting the car fixed next week.

I'm so thankful my family is okay. It scares me to think of a car, or a truck in this case, ramming the back of our car where precious little Zoe was sitting, completely defenseless. But I'm so thankful that a sovereign God protected me family in their time of need. Thank you, Jesus!

Pumpkins!

2009-10-31T21:07:00.000-05:00

We took our little pumpkin to her first pumpkin farm on October 17. It was a first for Trevor, my mom and me as well. I was disappointed that there wasn't an actual pumpkin "patch" at the farm, but it was a fun outing nonetheless. The funny thing is that Zoe was not impressed with the pumpkins in the least. I thought she'd like seeing something new. Nope!

The farm smelled, well, like a farm. There's no way I could live on a farm! The pumpkin farm had a petting zoo; Zoe actually wanted to feed the goats. She kept trying to touch one of the goats that my mom (Nana) was feeding; it was cute. There were some longhorns on the farm, which was apropos since we went on the day the Longhorns beat the So.oners. Trevor accompanied Zoe on a tractor ride, which was so sweet. We look forward to future visits to the pumpkin farm as Zoe gets older.

Feeding the Goats

The Family

"Look, Zoe, a pumpkin!" (Zoe: "wow, look at the grass!")

"Look, Zoe, two pumpkins!" (Zoe: "wow, more grass!")

Farmer Zoe, Playing on a Tractor

Tractor Ride with Daddy (I don't know who had more fun?!) Trevpr gets daddy of the year for cramming into this TINY cab!

I Love This Picture (Zoe is so affectionate)

Multitasking? (LOL...actually, this happens sometimes when Zoe tries to suck on her fingers...she's not really picking her nose (yet!))

The View From My Office

2009-10-15T23:02:00.002-05:00

I've been working from home this week because my mom is at our home recovering from a recent surgery. Today, while preparing for a conference call, I heard a tap at the office door. Below is what I saw. This is far better than the view from my 42nd floor downtown office.

On the topic of me working from home, it's amazing how much harder it is to work from home when Zoe is in the next room. When I go to my office downtown I feel guilty being away from Zoe, and I miss her like crazy, but being home is more difficult because it seems cruel to separate myself from my baby girl. Sure I take short breaks to nurse her, play with her or just snuggle with her, but some days, like today, I have to cut all of this pretty short when I have a lot of work to do. Today I just felt like Zoe must have been thinking "don't you want to play with me, Mommy?" And I DID want to play with her! I missed her so much when my day was complete. It's amazing how much you can miss your baby even when you're under the same roof. So very sad. It sure is tough being a working mommy, but I'm thankful that I have the flexibility to work from home occasionally. Although it's not the same as spending an uninterrupted day with Zoe, it sure beats the alternative.

Too Busy to Sleep

2009-10-13T00:26:00.003-05:00

In the last week Zoe learned how to do two very exciting things: sit up on her own and pull up to the standing position against objects (she used to do this frequently while holding our hands). The result: a baby that is too busy to sleep. Once upon a time when I laid Zoe in her crib after her bedtime routine she'd roll to her side or stomach and continue sleeping. That is no longer the case. Now when I lay Zoe down she immediately rolls to her stomach and something goes off in her head that says "hey, stomach equals crawling and then sitting", and that's exactly what she does. And then she comes to herself and remembers "hey, I also know how to stand up now, so there's no better time than the present to practice my new skill." A few seconds later she remembers she was actually sleeping before all of this activity started and then she gets upset, so an abbreviated bedtime routine follows. Getting Zoe to sleep takes extra long these days. I look forward to the days of putting her to bed easily. For now I'll stop and enjoy the season we're in because I know it'll be gone before I know it, and in a strange way I'll actually miss it.

G.I. Zoe

2009-10-12T23:21:00.000-05:00

Zoe's on the move! Zoe started combat crawling on September 26 and she had it mastered by the next day. Now she's trying to figure out how to crawl on all fours. This is exciting and sad at the same time. Our baby girl is growing up so fast! :(

The Combat Crawl

All Fours? You decide....

Michael Who?

2009-10-07T22:35:00.010-05:00

Zoe started swim lessons at the end of August. She's in a Water Babies class for infants 6 months of age and up. Her instructor is Ms. Sarah. Trevor and I want Zoe to enjoy the water, but more importantly, we want her to begin learning important life-saving skills at an early age. Zoe got off to a slow start because the pool seemed a bit overwhelming to her. She's doing really well in the water now. She's even gone under water for two seconds without a single tear...just lots of fun, splashing, and smiles. 6 weeks down, 13 weeks to go.

Watch out 2028 Olympics, here comes Zoe Alexis!! She's sure to blow Michael What's His Name?'s 2008 record out of the water! (No pun intended...)

Isn't she lovely?

Look, Mommy....I'm floating!

Taking a break

Whew, what a workout!

Balloon Festival

2009-10-07T22:23:00.000-05:00

The city we live in has an annual hot air balloon festival. Trevor and I have never attended, but this year we had a special reason to check it out. The balloons were inflated and launched twice a day for an entire weekend, so we took a blanket out to the festival grounds and enjoyed a Sunday evening launch. The weather was perfect. Zoe enjoyed watching the balloons momentarily, but she especially enjoyed the fresh air, rolling and crawling around on the blanket and playing with her two favorite people in the whole wide world, Mommy and Daddy.

8 months!

2009-10-06T00:09:00.000-05:00

Dear Zoe,

You're 8 months old! What a fun 8 months it has been.

Guess what you're doing now?! You're CRAWLING baby girl! And you've also figured out how to pull yourself up to the sitting position from your belly or from the crawling position. Back to crawling...initially you started out with a cute combat crawl and one day you figured out how to support your body weight on your hands and knees (well, one knee). Your crawl is absolutely darling. Instead of crawling on "all fours", you're crawling more like on 3 1/2's because you drag yourself forward on your left knee and right foot. It's so cute! You're so cute! In addition to crawling, you're pulling up on every thing! You really love standing. Daddy is convinced you'll soon be walking; I'm not ready for that.

You love blowing raspberries, Zoe. And you especially love to blow them with a mouth full of sweet potatoes, peas, oatmeal, you name it. I try not to laugh when you do this because I don't want to encourage bad behavior while eating, but it's hard not to laugh. Even when I have peas speckled all over my face. Speaking of food, this month we added butternut squash, sweet potatoes, prunes and peaches to your menu, all of which you love. Daddy and I really enjoy making your food. It's wonderful knowing that you are getting healthy, organic food without the preservatives found in jarred food. And it's homemade especially for you with lots of love.

You're still taking your swimming lessons and you're doing well at it. You continue to go under water without any trouble and you've even started to kick your legs a bit when "swimming" toward Daddy.

Your personality is starting to come through more and more. You've become somewhat tempermental and you seem to yell at us sometimes when we're not moving fast enough for you or when we don't pick you up on demand. I hope this is just your frustration at not being able to talk to us to tell us what you want as opposed to something that will remain.

You give the sweetest kisses, Zoe. Mostly you kiss Daddy and me when asked, but you often will surprise us with spontaneous kisses. Mommy likes to jokingly say you give "french kisses" because you like to kiss mommy by sucking on my bottom lip. It's pretty funny and oh so sweet. I could kiss you forever. In fact, I will kiss you forever, even when you all grown up and think it's embarassing. :-) Okay, maybe not...

Zoe, you're developing object permanence. When we hide objects under things like throw pillows, you will start looking for the object we hid. Mommy and Daddy recently played a game with you where Mommy was hiding behind Daddy. You were trying to look over Daddy's shoulder to find Mommy. Although it sounds simple, that really warmed our hearts.

This month Daddy and you went on your first playdate together. You met up with one of the Gy.bore.e mommies and her daughter, Sasha. The four of you went to the Dallas Ar.bor.etum. Daddy reports that you all had a great time. Hopefully this will be the first of many playdates for Daddy and you.

Zoe, your two favorite people in the world continue to be Mommy and Daddy. That works for us because you're our favorite little girl! You also still enjoy being held a lot. While some parents would find it burdensome, we love cuddling you because we know that one day you'll outgrow it and we'll miss these special moments. You've developed stranger anxiety in the last month, so you cling onto Mommy and Daddy extra tight when unfamiliar people are nearby. Although we want you to have a healthy awareness of strangers, we hope you'll soon outgrow some of this.

Zoe, we love you so much! Not only are you adorable, but you are lovingly adored. You make every day special and better. We love you!

My love always,

Mommy

8 month photo

(these pictures are getting more difficult to take now that Zoe's so active)

Random Photos

7 Months

2009-09-21T23:15:00.001-05:00

Dear Zoe,

You're 7 months old! Months feel like days now that you're here. Mommy and Daddy are having the time of our lives with you.

During the last month your personality has started to shine through more. You are such a happy little girl, Zoe, and you love to smile and laugh. Your smiles melt our hearts. You are very ticklish just like Mommy, so we love hearing you laugh when we tickle you. I truly don't know if there is any part of you that isn't ticklish.

You started eating solids a few days after your 6 month birthday. With the exception of cereals, all of your food will be homemade with love by Mommy and Daddy. Also, all of your food will be organic. Daddy was so impressed with the first batch of food Mommy made (peas) that he decided he wants to share in the fun by making your food as well. So far you've eaten brown rice cereal, oatmeal cereal, peas, avocado and green beans. Avocado was an adventure (we'll have to try again), but you have taken well to everything else.

You still love to blow raspberries, even in the middle of church and while eating peas. Who cares if you do it at the most inopportune times?! You're only a baby once, right? :-)

You're sleeping much better these days, and you're even taking naps a little easier....emphasis on "a little". It's a work in progress, pumpkin. Also new this month is that you enjoy sleeping on your tummy. Sometimes you even hike your butt in the air as you sleep. It's pretty funny.

On a big developmental note, you finally decided to roll both ways. This makes your play time even more fun, and you're all over your crib at night. Mommy and Daddy are convinced that you'll soon be crawling, but we're not rushing it because that means we have to baby proof the house (yikes!).

Zoe, we are so honored to watch you grow. We don't take it for granted, not for one second. You are such an amazing miracle in our lives; we are in awe of you. Thank you for lighting up our lives with your sweet presence. We love you so much, sweetness.

Love always,

Mommy

Adventures in Eating

Cereal - not too bad

Peas 1 - Zoe 0

Avocado - YUCK!

Modeling her new shoes

Will the shoes pass the taste test?

Zoe attended her first wedding....she was a complete doll! Here she is with Mommy and Daddy.

Bottoms Up! (Zoe getting her sleep on)

6 months

2009-08-17T16:19:00.003-05:00

Dear Zoe,

You're 6 months old, sweetie! A whole half year old! Where is the time going? It's crazy to think that we'll be planning your first birthday party soon.

As you grow, you're becoming more fun and interactive. You love to explore and discover new things. When we sit you in your Bu.mbo, you immediately scan your immediate surroundings and literally grab and lunge toward everything within your reach. Also, you absolutely love playing with magazines, paper bags and sheets of paper. You enjoy the crinkling sound they make. Everything you touch ends up in your mouth. The experts say that babies love to explore through touch, and babies also like to feel and taste things with their mouth; all of the above apply to you.

This month was challenging with respect to your nighttime sleep. You just didn't want to sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. As a survival tactic, Mommy and Daddy started putting you in the bed with us. This is the only way we were able to get decent sleep, and you sleep like a dream next to Mommy. But because I'm posting this late, I'll let you in on a little secret....you're overcoming your sleep challenges and getting back to sleeping through the night. More on this when I give you a 7 month update.

Naps are a horse of another color. You are so alert and active that you just don't have time to nap. You don't want to miss a thing, Zoe! You apparently think naps are so juvenile. The great thing is you're not fussy from not napping. But we know you need the sleep, so we're trying different tactics to get you to nap more and better. I hope to have good things to report in your 7 month update.

The most exciting development this month is that you started sitting up! It took you four days to master it, and now you're a pro! It's so exciting!

Mommy and Daddy love you with all we have, sweetness. You are an amazing little girl. You're so happy, and you love to laugh. Your smiles are infectious. You are absolutely the light of our lives!

My love always,
Mommy

What do you do the 2nd day your baby can sit up on her own? You put her in a high chair, of course!

A visit from great auntie, Colette

Having Fun!

Christmas in July. Great-auntie Colette had to get a picture in the coat she bought you, but you never got to wear. What a shame because the coat is darling!

When and Why Does it Change?

2009-08-15T10:43:00.006-05:00

Zoe started solids last Sunday. As any mommy of an exclusively breastfed baby knows, when you add solids, the poop changes. Boy does it change! No longer is it a consistent color and virtually odorless. Every diaper change becomes a new adventure. What color will it be? How will it smell? Will she even have a dirty diaper today? So far I've managed to escape the really bad diapers, but Trevor told me about them. He says they are VERY different! It's amazing what a big change a little bit of rice cereal can make. Why is that? Anyway, this new development made me think about how much we change from infancy to adulthood. When and why do the following change:

- when and why do we lose that amazing limberness that babies have? I would give anything to be able to lay on my back and pull my toes into my mouth in one smooth and painless motion. Heck, I'd even take the pain if I could even do it at all.

- when and why does it become socially unacceptable to poot (or toot as others call it) in public? It's so cute when Zoe does it....right now. One day it won't be. In fact, it will be downright embarrassing.

- when and why do we lose that amazingly soft baby skin?

- when and why do we even care what people think about us? Ah, to be oblivious to the world around you....

- when and why do we lose that sweet baby scent? Even when you haven't had a bath in two days....

- when and why do we stop celebrating weight gain? I REALLY want to know the answer to this question! LOL.

- when and why is it unacceptable to suck on your fingers and drool? It looks so relaxing.

I'm sure other things will come to mind in time. To be a baby again....not a care in the world....

Zoe See (or Hear), Zoe Do

2009-08-11T12:01:00.003-05:00

Zoe mimicked me for the first time yesterday. It was so cute. I was trying to give her some water in a bottle (something new now that we've started her on solids!), and she started to cough. After making sure she was okay, I mimicked her cute little cough. Zoe smiled and coughed again. So I coughed again, and then she coughed again. We went back and forth about four or five times. It was absolutely adorable. Unfortunately, true to her form, Zoe stopped this little activity as soon as Daddy pulled out the camcorder.

Day 3 = More Difficult

2009-08-06T16:10:00.002-05:00

Well, today is more difficult. I got home around 6pm last night and thoroughly enjoyed my time with Zoe. She started getting sleepy around 7:45, so we were upstairs starting her bedtime routine around 8:00. That's when it hit me. I only had 2 hours of quality time with Zoe! 2 hours!! How awful is that?! Although we had a little time in the morning, it wasn't the same because I had to get dressed and out of the house.

This morning Zoe remained asleep when I got out of bed. She finally woke up about 15 minutes before I had to leave, and she was in such a happy mood, thus I left in 30 minutes and got to work later than I planned. And today is her 1/2 birthday....6 months old already! I must have kissed Zoe 50 times before leaving the house. I just wanted to stay home with her to play, snuggle, etc.

On my way to the office I called to check my messages, and I had a message from a partner in our D.C. office. He needs my assistance with a new merger that has a short time frame. I'm hopeful that the workload will be manageable so that I can enjoy my evening with Zoe (all 2 hours of it....sigh) and my weekend with her.

I don't know if I can REALLY do this????!!! :-(

Breathe. One day at a time....

I'm a Working Mom Now: First Day Reflections

2009-08-05T13:21:00.004-05:00

My first day back in the office went surprisingly well. Of course, I was very tearful yesterday morning (as well as the last six weeks). I cried three times before leaving the house, thus I didn't wear any mascara because I didn't know how I would hold up during the day.

Arriving to my building felt strange. When the elevator opened on the 42nd floor, I thought I was on the wrong floor due to some aesthetic changes to the floor during my six month leave. I made my way to my office---still as I left it. It was weird not having a secretary or colleagues to say good morning to. (My sec'y is on vacation this week, and my colleagues are gone---one retired, one resigned, so that leaves only me in my section in Dallas) The minute I walked in my office I had this strange sense of peace come over me, and I suddenly knew it was going to be a good day.

Trevor brought Zoe up for lunch, which was great! We went to a nearby restaurant, and I experienced my first moment of conflict between being a professional and being a mommy. You see, Zoe was very hungry (she only ate 1/2 an ounce all morning after I left), so she needed to be nursed. I'm typically not shy about nursing in public, but yesterday I was. Something felt fundamentally wrong, and dare I say embarrassing, about nursing my baby in the middle of a restaurant full of professionals. There were Blackberries and navy blue power suits everywhere. Pulling out my nursing bib, pulling off my jacket, and lifting up my shirt just felt....wrong. We ended up moving to a table tucked in the back corner of the restaurant, and I felt better. I fed Zoe, fed myself, and all was well.

The next awkward moment came when it was time to go pump. I had my pump in tow as I rode down the elevator with my family to say good-bye. (They came back up with me when we returned from lunch so I could attempt to nurse Zoe one more time in my office) When the elevator door opened on the lobby floor, a partner that has been chomping at the bit for me to return was standing there. I introduced him to my family (he feigned interest), and I awkwardly kissed Trevor and Zoe good-bye. (Are you supposed to kiss your family good-bye in front of a partner? Who knows, but I did!) So I rode the elevator back up with the partner, with my pump on my shoulder, as he asked if I had time to meet. I didn't want to say "um, I have to go pump." But I DID need to go pump. My right boob was about to explode! LOL. So I just said I had to make a stop and would have to talk to him later. (Are you supposed to blow off a partner to go pump? Who knows?!) I went to pump, stored away my milk, packed up my bag, and headed back to my office.

The entire day was quiet. I didn't receive a single work related phone call or e-mail. I guess my section is slow??? Having a quiet day helped with the transition, but I know everyday won't be (and can't be) that way.

I left my office at 4:45 and was pulling out of the garage by 4:50. (This will be my daily goal due to my long commute. I will just work after Zoe goes to bed to finish up my work.) I made a quick stop at the grocery store and Babies R Us and was home a little after 6pm. When I walked in the house Zoe was crying, right on cue, so I rushed in and nursed her. I was finally exclusively a mommy again, and I could nurse my baby girl freely and openly. I held Zoe all night, played with her, and just soaked her up. She didn't sleep well, so she ended up in bed with us. I especially enjoyed cuddling with her as she slept like an angel.

Day one complete....

Look Who's Sitting Up!

2009-07-19T21:45:00.003-05:00

Zoe started showing signs of sitting up last Monday. By Thursday, she had it perfected! Although she still sits in the tripod position supporting herself with her hands, she can also balance for short periods on her bottom only. Although Trevor and I can't believe the tiny baby we brought home 5 short months ago can sit on her own, we're so excited to see Zoe reach this developmental milestone. Yay Zoe!!! (clap clap clap)

5 months

2009-07-13T23:35:00.004-05:00

Dear Zoe,

You're 5 months old, sweetness. Time sure does fly when you're having fun! Mommy and Daddy are having a blast with you, baby girl.

This month has been all about tactile development. You love touching things with your hands and especially your mouth. You reach for everything, and you're so curious. Lately, you love touching Mommy and Daddy's faces. It's precious. We love watching you explore! In addition to touching things, you also like scratching new objects and textures. It's really cute.

You laugh so much, Zoe. Most times you laugh at silly things Mommy and Daddy do with you, but occasionally you'll just laugh spontaneously at nothing at all, or at least it seems that way. In addition to the game we play where Mommy thrusts you in front of Daddy's face as he says "boom", you also love it when we lift you above our heads. It's so comical to you. Perhaps you'll like heights???

This month you've become more temperamental. You know what you want and when you want it. And if you don't get it....well, let's just say you make your displeasure known. You LOVE to be held, Zoe. I hate to use the "s" word (spoiled), but I think you may be just that. Having Mommy home with you everyday for the past 5 months to just love on you has made you this way, and when Daddy comes home from a trip he loves snuggling with his baby girl. Actually, we held you a lot in the early days because we had an acid reflux scare, and your doctor encouraged us to hold up upright for 30 minutes after every feeding. (Thankfully you didn't have reflux!) Most recently we've held you a lot because you were developing a flat spot on the left side of your head. So while we naturally love to hold you and love on you, there are also other reasons why we've held you a lot and continue to do so.

You finally figured out how to put your feet in your mouth. Perhaps you're ready for solids? LOL. Speaking of solids, you love watching Mommy and Daddy eat. You literally track the food from our plates into our mouths. Recently Daddy was eating french fries and you grabbed one from his hand and took it directly to your mouth. We didn't let you eat it, of course, but we did let you feel it with your tongue. We'll start solids really soon; however, we're going to try to wait until you turn 6 months to reduce the chance of you developing food allergies.

Oh, we have a confession. Mommy and Daddy put you back in our room. You were doing okay in your crib, but we had guests in town for July 4 so we decided to put you back in our room to ensure that your sleep wasn't disturbed. We both realized how much we missed having you so close, so Daddy decided we should keep you in your bassinet just a bit longer. You seem to sleep better, and so do Mommy and Daddy.

The past 5 months of our lives have been magical, Zoe, and we owe it all to you. You are such a precious little girl. Mommy and Daddy love you so very much, angel. We're excited to see what the next month holds in store for you. We know it will be fun!

My love always,

Mommy

July 4 (the outfit we bought for you didn't fit; you're such a petite thing....you couldn't fit the 3 month size)

Snatching Daddy's Fry

4 months!

2009-06-24T00:15:00.003-05:00

Dear Zoe,

Well, baby girl, you're 4 months old! (4.5 months actually, but who's counting? You're going to shake your head in amusement at all these late entries when I turn this blog into a keepsake book for you. What can I say? I'm just busy enjoying you!) I'm still amazed at how fast time is flying. I guess it's true that time flies when you're having fun, because we're having a blast with you! You're such a sweet girl, and you're developing such a cute and sweet personality.

In the last month you've become a drool and slobber machine. Sometimes I call you my little bubble girl because you often have tons of little bubbles collecting on your lips. I used to think slobber and drool were gross, but now that I'm a mommy, I think it's the cutest thing ever.

You discovered your feet this month. Boy do you love your feet! It's cute to watch you grab for them while you talk to us. When you're talking, I think you might be challenging us to see if we can grab our feet, too. LOL. Too bad we can't...at least not like you do. In addition to grabbing your feet, you've started reaching out for objects, including Mommy's face. I love this, especially while you're nursing.

You're laughing more and more these days. One of the things you enjoy and that makes you laugh is to be startled. You also enjoy it when we play a little game where we thrust you in front of Daddy's face as we say "BOOM"! This cracks you up! But you don't find it as amusing when we thrust you in front of Mommy's face and do the same thing. What's really unfair about this is that Mommy thought of the game. Hmmmm???

You moved to your crib this month. This was very sad for Mommy, and it continues to sadden me. I miss having you next to me in your bassinet. I loved having you so close, but I'm glad you have extra room to stretch out in your crib. You still wake up in the morning to nurse (more on this later), so I still bring you to our bed around 5am and let you lay next to me. Mommy nurses you lying down, and we sleep in together until about 9am; I love this special time with you. I'll miss this when I return to work. :- (

Thanks to Gym.boree classes, which you love, you have started to actually semi-enjoy tummy time. You definitely tolerate it more than before, but you'll only remain on your tummy for about 5 minutes at a time. Speaking of Gym.boree, you've been enrolled in classes since about 3.5 months. Mommy and Daddy enjoy taking you to class and interacting with you in developmental play; this is the best money we've spent on you thus far. You seem to enjoy the distraction of the other babies and the fun activities we play. Mommy has also benefited from it as well because I've met some nice women with babies your age.

Oh, you discovered a new household "friend"....air conditioning vents. When you wake up in the morning, in addition to marveling at the ceiling fan, you also love to look at the A/C vent and smile and talk to it. You're so adorable! You still love watching the TV. I don't know what attracts you the most about it, but you love to sit and stare at it. Mommy and Daddy are really trying to discourage this though because we don't want you hooked on TV.

Now to the not-so-neat things about this month. Girl, you want to be held ALL THE TIME! While we enjoy holding and snuggling you (hence the cause of this "problem"), it's tough when we need to get things done around the house like cooking or cleaning (or blogging--lol), and it's especially tough for Mommy on the days when Daddy is traveling and it's just you and me at home. You've grown accustomed to sitting in your bouncer while we shower, so that's great, but other than that one allowance of the day, your favorite place to be is in Mommy's or Daddy's arms. I hope with time you'll learn to enjoy your swing or longer periods of time in your bouncer so we can get more done.

Also, this month you've regressed with sleeping through the night. This issue developed as you approached your 4 month growth spurt. You went from sleeping from 9:30pm-6:00am to waking up around 1:30am and then again between 4:45-6:00am depending on the night. All I can say is "whew!" I hope you outgrow this SOON!

Lastly, a few additional behavior and developmental notes: you are developing a pretty sensitive disposition because you will cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes you cry if we're out of your view too long (even if it's only been seconds), sometimes you cry because the ceiling fan hurt your feelings, and sometimes you cry for no reason at all. But you're easy to comfort, so the crying isn't bad at all. You are also so adult-like in some of the things you do. For example, you make the cutest exasperated sound when you yawn, you sleep with your arm over your eyes sometimes when it's too bright, you even rub your eyes now when you're sleepy, and you rest your arm on objects when you're just chillin'. This month is also all about tactile development as you love discovering new textures with your hands....and your mouth! You really are an adorable little girl!

Zoe, thank you for bringing Mommy and Daddy such happiness and for giving us a renewed sense of purpose for our lives. We love you so very much!

Love always,

Mommy

4 month stats:

Weight: 12lb. 4oz. (21st percentile)

Height: 24 1/4 inches (51st percentile)

Head: 41 cm (51st percentile)

Your 4 month photo

Enjoying a few minutes in your Bu.mbo

You LOVED this root beer bottle! I think you enjoyed the bumpy letters and the cold, wet feel of the bottle.

Busted! You recently discovered the decorative grapes Mommy is trying out on the kitchen table. You can play with them....just don't try to eat them.

Gym.boree!

Real men Gym.boree! This was Daddy enjoying playtime with you during a weekday class. (The daddies usually attend on Saturdays)

Father's Day 2009

2009-06-21T22:39:00.011-05:00

Today we celebrated Trevor's first Father's Day; it was a great day! Actually, the celebration began yesterday with a surprise daddy/daughter photo session I planned for Trevor and Zoe. Last year Trevor found out he was going to be a daddy; this year he was able to spend this special day with his precious baby girl. He was such a proud daddy today. When we woke up, Zoe and I gave him his cards and gifts. I made him a photo card from Zoe with images of various daddy/daughter memories we've captured; he loved it! I also painted a coffee mug for Trevor from Zoe complete with her footprints and some longhorn attachments. The mug said "Hooked on Daddy" to go with the UT "Hook 'Em" theme; again, he loved it! My gift to Trevor was a variety of accessories for his grill. After our morning at home, we headed out to church. Trevor enjoyed holding Zoe for most of the service. It is so special to see him praising the Lord with his daughter, our gift from God, in his arms. I'm glad she can watch us worshipping together as a family. I want to give her a rich legacy of faith in Jesus Christ.

We ended our Father's Day celebration with a nice dinner at a Brazilian steakhouse (yum!)....and a family nap after filling our bellies. :- )

Happy Father's Day once again, Trevor. You are an amazing daddy to Zoe. She's so blessed! We're so blessed! We love you!

A Promise to my Daughter

2009-06-18T23:38:00.006-05:00

As my return date to work draws closer (six more weeks), my heart is saddened to think of leaving my baby girl while I'm at work. I never pegged myself as the "stay at home mom" type. I've worked hard to get to where I'm at professionally, and I always assumed (and intended) to return to work. After all, wouldn't it be foolish to spend so many years in school to eventually stay home? That was my rationale until I held my beautiful daughter in my arms for the first time. Even then I didn't give staying home much thought, but as I spend more and more time with Zoe, my heart (and my thought process) has changed. Being home with Zoe is now incredibly important to me. This is my calling. She is my calling. And I don't think anyone will care for her as well as I can. But....there's always a pesky "but" lurking in the background. BUT....staying home isn't an option right now. Trevor and I are praying for the Lord's direction on how to get me home. We are confident that unexpected doors will open and the opportunity will present itself. In the meantime, I'm beginning the process of preparing myself, both mentally and emotionally, to return to work in early August. My law firm has undergone a lot of changes during my maternity leave, so I stand to be incredibly busy when I return. (I've even been asked twice to consider returning early; I declined) The practice of law at a large firm is demanding enough as it is, but when you factor in being understaffed, it's a much more daunting scenario. I don't know what to expect, but I'm fearing the worst. As a new mom, the prospect of very long workdays concerns me.

All of this brings me to the promise I made my daughter. Last night as I nursed Zoe during her bedtime routine, which is one of my favorite parts of the day with her, by the way, I gently rubbed her head, and through tears, I had a heart-to-heart with her. And I made a plea.

I promised Zoe that Daddy and I WILL work (and are working) on getting Mommy home with her full-time as soon as possible. I promised her that we would not give up until this becomes a reality. I told her how very much I love her, and that nothing, other than her Daddy and my relationship with Jesus, is more important to me than her. I told her how much happiness she's brought me. And I told her that sadly, in August, Mommy has to return to work, but Daddy will be home with her for three months to love on her and keep her safe. And I assured her that I will miss her terribly every day.

I also made a plea to Zoe. I asked her to forgive me for the time we'll spend apart when I return to work. And I asked her not to forget me. I also asked her not to love me less. I know that sounds silly because I'll still see her every morning and evening, but after spending every waking hour with her for six months, I can't help but worry that she'll feel the difference. As I figure it, I'll get about four hours or so with Zoe on workdays. Four hours! That is unacceptable!!! Zoe and I have developed an incredible bond. There's something special about the way she looks at me. Sometimes when she looks at me while I'm nursing her and at other random times, I truly feel like she's communicating with me through her eyes; the look is so tender, loving and trusting. I don't want that tender look from her to ever change. I never want her to look at me with disappointment, sadness or rejection in her eyes because I'm not there for her enough.

Staying home with Zoe will require sacrifices on our part. We'll have to eat out less, actually work on the budget we've been threatening to start for the past three years, stop shopping on a whim without worrying about our bills being covered, take more conservative vacations, live in a less expensive home, postpone buying a new car, and the list goes on. But it's only temporary. And I think it's worth it. And more importantly, I know that the Lord will honor our sacrifice. He will be well pleased. And Zoe will receive tender loving care daily from a mommy who thinks the world of her.

I pray that I can keep my promise to Zoe. In the meantime, I desperately hope that Zoe will grant me my plea.

For my readers....I covet your prayers as I prepare for this difficult transition.

Leaving the Nest

2009-06-08T23:24:00.003-05:00

The past two nights have been pretty sad for me. Zoe is now sleeping in her crib. I knew this time would come, and I know it's best for her to be in her own room (plus she can really stretch out!), but it doesn't make it any easier. I can't help but feel like she's getting farther and farther away from me. The first separation experience for me was after I gave birth to Zoe. Boy did I miss being pregnant; I still do sometimes. While I know a lot of women don't enjoy pregnancy, I loved it! Sure I had aches and pains, but I really did have a great pregnancy. After having Zoe, I loved holding her, but I missed feeling her inside of me.

Now I'm dealing with my second separation experience. Moving Zoe into her own room felt like I was betraying her or rejecting her in some way. And, oddly enough, I'm afraid that she feels that way, too. I don't know how to make sure she doesn't feel that way because I never want her to feel any form of rejection from me. I want her to always know with every fiber of her being that her mommy loves her deeply. Zoe's first night went smoothly in terms of getting her down, but tonight was rough. She cried so much. I was heartbroken and wondered what she was thinking or feeling about me. I feel like I need to make this up to her.

Having Zoe in her bassinet on my side of the bed made me feel like I was protecting her in some way. After all, isn't that my job as her mom? To protect my precious daughter. I hope this feeling of letting her down soon passes.

I haven't made it through an entire second night of Zoe being in her crib yet, but I can say that the first night consisted of a lot of checking on Zoe, lots of baby monitor adjustments, tons of lighting adjustments, etc. Zoe was completely unaware, and she was probably just fine. We'll see how night #2 goes for me. I just know that I desperately miss having her close to me on my side of the bed.

First Fever

2009-06-06T22:29:00.006-05:00

Zoe had her first fever today. She had her 4 month shots yesterday; I hate those things! When she woke up this morning, I picked her up and noticed she was pretty hot to the touch. I took her temperature, and it was 102.8. This freaked me out! I took off her gown and gave her some Ty.lenol. I also called her pediatrician's office for further instructions. After 45 minutes her fever broke and went down to 99.8. As the day progressed, it continued to drop. Thank God! My poor baby girl. I hope her fever doesn't return. On the upside, Zoe was a perfectly happy baby through it all. If it weren't for her feeling warm, I never would've known she had a fever.

Sweet Giggles

2009-06-05T23:30:00.005-05:00

We discovered a new game to play with Zoe that cracks her up. She loves it when we thrust her in front of Daddy's face, and he goes "boom" kinda loud. The things that entertain babies....lol. We played this game with her two nights ago and she CRACKED up! There's nothing like the sound of a baby giggling.

She LOVES Her Feet!

2009-06-05T23:23:00.004-05:00

Zoe discovered her feet about a week ago, and she LOVES them! I know all babies go through this stage, but it's extra cute with Zoe since she's our baby. :- ) Here's a cute video of her kicking like a Roc.kette.

Zoe Driving

2009-06-05T23:15:00.001-05:00

A few pictures from a recent road trip....just for fun. These were taken while we were at a rest area.

It Was You!

2009-05-28T01:08:00.006-05:00

Dear Zoe,

Mommy was looking at you a few days ago and it hit me that it was you Mommy was carrying in her tummy all those precious months of my pregnancy. You were the sweet baby growing inside of me. As silly as it may sound, this reality caused me to pause and reflect back on the special time we shared together when it was just you and me.

I thought back to the day I found out I was pregnant, and I now realize that the tiny embryo starting to form within me was you. From that day forward, I would lay my hands on my stomach and pray for the precious life growing inside of me. I now know that the baby I prayed for so fervently was you.

I also recalled the day I told Daddy he was going to be a father. I told him in the form of a riddle. I now know that the baby I was describing in that riddle was you.

Then I thought about the first ultrasound we had. It was you we saw on that screen. And then it was you being silly and jumping around when we had our second ultrasound. (The funny thing is you jump around the same way in our laps when we hold you)

Daddy and I quickly decided we wanted to find out if the baby growing inside of me was a boy or a girl. And so we found out we were having a precious baby girl! And guess what?! It was you we saw on that screen with her legs spread eagle during the ultrasound! LOL. We immediately settled on the name "Zoe Alexis" for our baby girl. That name was picked for you, and I must say that it's quite fitting for you, princess.

I remember anxiously awaiting the first time I would feel my baby girl move. And then one day it happened. Now I know that it was you moving inside of me that day (and many days after). While I no longer feel you moving inside of me, you move me emotionally every time I look at you or hold you.

Then there was the nursery. I wanted it to be perfect for my precious baby girl, so I obsessed over it. I spent countless hours on the internet and in stores looking for the perfect *everything* for your nursery. And I'm sure I got on Daddy's nerves, too. Now I know it was you for whom I was designing a nursery. You were worth every minute of it.

Contrary to what your Daddy might say, it was you that made me snore like a wild hog! LOL.

And on that amazing evening of February 6, 2009, thirteen hours after my water broke and after about four hours of labor that I could actually feel, my precious baby girl was born. When the nurse put my baby in my arms, and I looked at her with tears in my eyes and we met face-to-face for the first time, it was you that I introduced myself to as "Mommy".

I love you, Zoe Alexis. I'm so very happy, and eternally grateful, that it was you!

Love,
Mommy

3 months!

2009-05-28T00:24:00.000-05:00

Dear Zoe,

You're 3 months old, sweetie! (Well, 3 months and a few weeks, but who's counting?!) You are developing so much, baby girl. While Mommy is sad to see you growing so fast, you're becoming more interactive every day, which is so much fun.

Let's start with the highlight of the month....you are FINALLY sleeping through the night! Praise the Lord!!! And you've lost your startle reflex, so you now enjoy sleeping without your swaddle. Mommy starts your bed time routine at 9:15pm, which consists of Mommy playing with you, aspirating your nose (you're starting to like it....go figure!), giving you your Vitamin D drops (pediatrician's recommendation), reading you your bedtime story and nursing you. You're usually sleep by 9:45pm, and then you wake up at 6am to nurse; I put you in the bed with me at this time, and you go back down until 10am (w/ an occasional snack or two). You've really got Mommy spoiled with all of this sleep; it's going to be tough, in more ways than one, to go back to work in August.

You now have a fake cry. It usually follows or precedes a real cry. It's your special way of scolding Daddy and me for not letting you get your way. You're also smiling like crazy. You get so excited sometimes, and I can tell you want so badly to laugh. Soon enough, sweetness. Soon enough.

You are very talkative, Zoe. You already have a lot to say. You are also very alert; Mommy and Daddy get this comment a lot when people meet you. When we're at home and playing with you in the living room, you LOVE watching TV; you are so mesmerized by it. When we notice this, we turn on cartoons or pop in one of your Baby Eins.tein videos.

We're convinced that you're eager to walk because you LOVE pushing up on your feet when we hold you. Sometimes you even "walk" up our chests. It's really cute. You've discovered your hands, and you love to suck on them! One of the funniest things you do is gag yourself. You stick two or three fingers in your mouth and go at it. When Mommy pulls your fingers out of your mouth to make you stop, you just reinsert them and start gagging yourself again. You must like how it feels. Silly girl! Oh, and you slobber and drool like crazy. Oh boy, the drool!

Zoe, the love we have for you is overwhelming. There are no bad days now that you're in our lives, and even if we start to feel a little down or overwhelmed by some silly circumstance, your toothless grin makes it all better. You are such a sweet girl. You truly are, and will always be, God's greatest gift to us!

My love always,

Mommy

Beautiful Smile

Zoe riding her mechanical bull (a/k/a the Bu.mbo)

Seeing Daddy off for one of his military flights

Hanging out with Mommy in the M.oby wrap

Zoe enjoying a brief moment of tummy time on her play mat

Help! She Hates Tummy Time!

2009-05-18T23:59:00.004-05:00

Zoe HATES tummy time. Still. I'm at my wits end. We've tried tummy time in every way possible. Tummy time on a blanket. Tummy time on our chests (she kinda likes this). Tummy time on her Bop.py. Tummy time on an actual tummy time mat complete with toys. Tummy time on my shins (playing airplane). Tummy time on the couch. Tummy time on the bed. Tummy time every where! The result: weeping and gnashing of teeth! The issue is that Zoe really favors her left side. Thus, she sleeps with her head turned to the left, and she often looks to the left when she's being held and while sitting in her car seat, swing and bouncer. The result: she's developing a bit of a flat spot on the left side of her head. We took her to her pediatrician to have it looked at. Thankfully, it's not severe, but it can't be ignored. The solution: tummy time! ARGH!!!!

Any suggestions on getting over this hurdle?

My 1st Mother's Day

2009-05-12T23:57:00.009-05:00

It was strange celebrating Mother's Day this year as not only a daughter, but as a mother! I'm so thankful that I'm Zoe's mommy. What an honor and a privilege.

Trevor made my day special. It started on Friday with beautiful yellow roses that were delivered to our home. The card was sweet:

"Baby, I get so excited watching you with our beautiful Zoe. This is a very special day for you, and I look forward to many more. I love you and thank God for what He has done in my life. Happy Mother's Day!"

Sunday morning, Trevor gave me two cards, one from him and one from Zoe. Both cards were really sweet, but the one from Zoe was perfect in every way:

"Oh, How I Love my Mommy!

There's no one like my mommy for bringing happy smiles...
For stopping what she's doing to rock me for awhile.

There's no one like my mommy for singing lullabies...
For hurrying to hold me when she hears my little cries.

There's no one like my mommy for taking me on walks....
And for being a good listener in our "mommy-baby talks"!

There's no one like my mommy to hug and snuggle me!
And though I'm small, my love for her is as big as it can be!

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy
With Lots of Love and Baby Kisses!"

Those words made me cry because they are all so true; if Zoe could talk, I really think she would have said all of those things. Being a mom can be challenging and tiring at times, but I love spending my days with Zoe, just focusing on her. There's nothing else I'd rather do.

After the cards, Trevor played my gift, a DVD he made of my journey thus far as Zoe's mommy. The video started in L&D and continued through the last several weeks. It was very sweet; a special labor of love on his part. He also set it to music with some of my favorite songs. Again, I cried. After church we went to brunch and then we finished the day with a trip to a nearby outlet mall. Oh, and we grabbed some gelato....yum!

I look forward to many more Mother's Days to come.

A couple of pictures of my baby love and me:

Boob Woes

2009-05-06T00:27:00.004-05:00

Two weeks ago, while nursing Zoe, I found a lump in my right breast. I've had several clogged milk ducts since nursing, but this one was different because it wasn't painful at all. And the lump was rather pronounced. After feeding Zoe, I pumped my breast dry; the lump was still there. The next morning the lump was still present, so I called my gynecologist and got a referral for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. The tests revealed a cyst with a small portion of solid matter in it. I was given the option to "wait and watch it" for a couple of weeks or to have a biopsy via fine needle aspiration (FNA). I chose the latter.

Last Friday, I had the FNA done. Thankfully, the aspiration revealed 100% milk, so the diagnosis was a galactocele, or a milk cyst. I was, and still am, relieved!

Last Friday night/Saturday morning, around 4am, I woke up to intense burning and pain in the area of the biopsy site. There was also a small knot in the area. I woke Zoe up to nurse, which provided some relief. Throughout the weekend I continued to experience pain and discomfort in my right breast so I nursed Zoe and pumped on that side like crazy. Trevor and I returned to the clinic Monday morning to figure out what was going on. It seems that I've developed an infection in breast, so now I'm on antibiotics for 10 days. The doctor said that it is likely that bacteria from Zoe's mouth entered my breast through my nipple, thus causing the infection. What a pain!! (both literally and figuratively)

The things we go through to nourish our little ones. Zoe's worth it though!

8 Hours!

2009-05-03T20:22:00.002-05:00

Saturday night, Zoe slept for 8 hours straight! YAY!!! We put her down at 9:45pm, and she didn't wake up to eat until 5:53am! After nursing her, she went right back to sleep until Daddy woke us up at 8:40am to get ready for church. I hope this is the start of good things!

You Know You're a Mom When....

2009-04-30T01:57:00.001-05:00

I know this list will get longer, but the following occurrences have reminded me that I'm now a mommy. So here it goes....you know you're a mom when:

1. You try for several days to make it to the grocery store to pick up that same loaf of bread and jug of orange juice.

2. Going to the grocery store, or anywhere for that matter, is the highlight of your day. (I guess this only applies when you have an infant....I hope)

3. Daily showers have become more like every other day showers.

4. You eat breakfast when the rest of the country is preparing to eat lunch, and the same with lunch and dinner.

5. You will manually remove what the nasal aspirator couldn't get and it doesn't bother you.

6. After cleaning a seedy, mustard yellow diaper (for us nursing mom) you discover that a few of those seeds are now on your knuckles and it doesn't gross you out.

7. Your bra not only tames your milk jugs, but it also doubles as a catcher's mitt for run away spit up.

8. Your days are no longer measured in hours (or billable hours for us attorneys), but rather in the number of poop and pee diapers your little one generates and in the number of feedings your little one has had.

9. Your living room has been overtaken by every baby gadget known to mankind.

10. Your vocabulary changes and you regularly use phrases like "play dates", "latching on", "poo poo", "pee pee", "shhh, shhh, shhh, it's okay", "night night time", etc.

11. You can only be away for 3-4 hours max if you're nursing, otherwise delicate parts of your body will feel like they're going to explode.

12. You can hardly remember what it feels like to get 8 consecutive hours of sleep.

13. You would miss all of your favorite shows but for the advent of the DVR.

14. You can't go five minutes without talking about your little one.

15. You don't have time to update your blog. (This entry has been save in my drafts since March 15...sad!)

16. You wake up to this sweet face (which makes the aforementioned items more than worth it!):

Easter 2009

2009-04-14T01:18:00.008-05:00

We continued our journey of experiencing Zoe's "firsts" by celebrating Zoe's first Easter! Both of Zoe's grandmothers came to town to spend Easter with us. It was a good weekend. We had Zoe's picture taken with the Easter bunny on Saturday. I couldn't get her to smile to save my life, but it was still fun. We also took Zoe to church for the first time since her birth, and she was great. It was nice to be back in church after two months. Zoe was overstimulated from the weekend's events. By Sunday afternoon she was pretty fussy, and she fell asleep two hours before her usual bedtime. Poor thing!

We bought a new camera, so here are some pictures:

2 Months!

2009-04-09T00:20:00.006-05:00

Dear Zoe,

Yep, you guessed it....I can't believe it's been 2 months! I know I start most of my letters to you this way, but I'm truly astonished at how fast the time is flying by. While I can still remember the day you were born as if it were yesterday, parts of that memory are starting to fade. That makes me sad. In hindsight, I wish we would've taken just one more picture or recorded a thing or two that day, but in all of the excitement of that moment, I think we unintentionally missed a few opportunities. I just never want to forget that magical day and all the details that went with it. I love you so much!

In the past week, you've been doing more of what you started in weeks prior. But you made a new friend this week.....the ceiling fan! LOL. You LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the ceiling fan, Zoe. It just happened one morning and you've never looked back. You stare at the ceiling fan incessantly; we can't break your stare. Initially you just stared at the ceiling fan. Now you also smile at it, talk to it and sometimes the ceiling fan even makes you cry. Mean ceiling fan! :- ) But don't you worry, I've got your back; I get after that mean ceiling fan when it upsets you.

To celebrate your 2 month birthday we did something really un-fun; we got your 2 month immunizations. Daddy and I did some research on immunizations and decided we didn't want to overload your little body with so many immunizations at once. Your pediatrician was understanding and compromised on a couple of shots. We have to take you back for those on your 3 month birthday. Another not so fun day. Sorry, pumpkin! You were such a big girl when you got your shots, Zoe. You cried upon the initial prick of the needle, but that was it. When it was all over Mommy cried though. It just breaks my heart to see tears in your eyes, but it was especially hard this time because I knew they were tears of pain. Although I know you need the immunizations to keep you healthy later in life, I still felt bad for allowing someone to inflict pain upon you. After your shots you were pretty sleepy, and you didn't have a strong appetite. You also spit up more than usual. You ran a low grade fever, which lasted two days. On the second night you were so cranky, and you would only sleep if it was on Mommy's chest. This made for a long night, but I enjoyed snuggling with you. Although you're still a little cranky, I think you're getting back to your old self. Despite how crummy you felt, you still managed to give Mommy sweet smiles here and there. You're such a big girl!

You're growing nicely. You now weigh 9lb. 14 oz. (25th percentile), you're 22 inches long (37th percentile) and your head is 38.25 cm (38th percentile).

Mommy and Daddy love you so much, baby girl. You are the light of our lives!

Love always,

Mommy

***No pictures this week~ our camera is still jacked! But it's in the shop, so pictures will be coming soon***

7 Weeks

2009-04-01T23:11:00.000-05:00

Dear Zoe,

You're 7 weeks old, sweetness. Can you believe it?! Neither can Daddy and I!

This week you've done quite a bit. First, you're starting to grasp things, and boy do you have a tight grip! One day you grabbed a handful of Mommy's hair as I was passing you off to Daddy. It took several attempts to get you to release your grip. I think it's really sweet when you fall asleep on my chest with a tight grip on Mommy's shirt as if to say "don't let me go, Mommy." I just love it.

All the tummy time you hate is paying off because your neck is getting stronger. You've been lifting it higher and higher. When Mommy and Daddy are burping you against our chests, you like to raise up with your forearms to check us out. You're such a big girl!

This week you've been smiling like crazy. I love all of your smiles, but the ones I especially enjoy are the smiles you throw my way when we wake up in the morning. As soon as I look at you and say "good morning", you greet me with the most delicious smiles! You're also starting to make a few small cooing noises. They are the cutest sounds ever. And you've also been following Mommy and Daddy with your eyes a lot more this week. Watching you grow, develop and explore is such a blessing.

This week you started cluster feeding from 6-10pm. Boy is this tiring for Mommy! The first few days I didn't know what was going on, but then I remembered reading something about cluster feeding. You want to nurse every 30-45 minutes. I feel like you're eating me alive, girl! :- ) I'm getting used to it now and have just resolved that my evenings will be consumed with non-stop feedings. The reward for Mommy is that you'll usually sleep until about 4:30am after a long evening of cluster feeding. Ahhh....

Oh, this week Mommy started a bed time routine with you. Before feeding you at 10pm, Mommy reads you a short bed time story. After you eat and while I'm burping you against my chest, I sing to you. You typically fall asleep pretty quickly. Then I swaddle you (you like being swaddled again as long as I keep your left arm out) and place you in your bassinet. Eventually I want to start this routine earlier in the evening, but this is working well with your cluster feeding for now.

Daddy and I love you so much, Zoe! You are so amazing, and you are so loved.

Smooches,
Mommy

***No pictures this week ~ our camera broke ~ boooo!***

6 weeks!

2009-03-26T16:05:00.000-05:00

Dear Zoe,

You're six weeks old! Mommy and Daddy can't believe how fast you're growing up! (sob, sob, sob...) Although you're still tiny, you're not that itty bitty baby we brought home from the hospital any more.

This week we're convinced that you've started learning cause and effect. We are absolutely certain that you like spitting out your pacifier (when you take it), so that we can keep fetching it for you! LOL. You've also started smiling a lot more. It's so adorable. But on the flip side, you've also become more temperamental. Your new nickname is "Litte Miss Bossy." LOL. When you wake up from your naps, you stretch a couple of times and then you immediately start crying for food. It's almost as if you stop and think to yourself "oh wait, I'm hungry....wah, wah, wah." You need to work on this, pumpkin. I need you to give Mommy at least a couple of minutes of transition time to get you fed.

This week, as advertised by your pediatrician, you're going through a growth spurt. You want to nurse in the strangest intervals, and you haven't been sleeping like you normally do. Mommy couldn't figure it out at first, but then I remembered that six weeks is a growth milestone. And boy are you growing! This week I've started putting you in 0-3 mos sleep and plays and onesies. You still wear newborn sizes in some outfits, but you're definitely starting to stretch out. Also as advertised by your pediatrician, this week you've started getting "baby acne". It's not so bad, but Mommy can't wait until it goes away.

We think you've decided that you don't like sleeping on your back. Your favorite place to sleep lately is either on Mommy or Daddy's chest or next to Mommy on your side. We hope this is just a phase you're going through, although Mommy loves this extra snuggle time.

Mommy and Daddy have been giving you more tummy time. You still hate it after about 2-3 minutes. We always know when you've had enough because you roll onto your back. It's hilarious!

Last, but certainly not least, Nana came to visit you again this week. It's so neat to see you with her. We took a nice walk with Nana while she was here; a nice outing with three generations. It was strange pushing you around in your stroller. I can't believe I'm a mom! But I'm so blessed because I'm YOUR mommy! :- )

Zoe, you're so loved! We can't wait to see what the next week has in store for you and us.

Love you,

Mommy

Our Princess:

The Heartbreaking Pouty Face:

Tummy Time (a bipolar experience):

"Grrr....I hate tummy time"

"Wait, it's not so bad"

"Okay, I'm over it!"

Zoe catching a glimpse of herself in a mirror:

Zoe's crazy socks! LOL. These are supposed to be infant socks.

Hanging with Nana:

Mommy and Zoe on our walk:

Mommy Update

2009-03-26T14:22:00.002-05:00

I figured it was time for a mommy update. Monday, I had my 6 week checkup with Dr. S. All is well, and I'm feeling pretty good.

The transition to motherhood has gone relatively smoothly. The toughest part is not being able to get up and go on a whim any longer. But I'm enjoying Zoe so much that it isn't so bad. Trying to get nursing established was by far the toughest thing I experienced in the early weeks. I was so down about it that I started to experience baby blues. In hindsight, I regret letting our nursing woes steal my joy and precious moments with Zoe. I wept so much and felt like a failure as a mom. While I knew that the nursing issue was Zoe's problem because she was so sleepy at the breast, it was still difficult not to shoulder the responsibility. When I decided to transition to 100% pumping and bottle feeding, it literally felt like a cloud had lifted. I'm thankful that the constant bottle feeding didn't hinder Zoe's ability to nurse. Now we're exclusively breast feeding, and I'm so glad.

Sleep deprivation is slowly diminishing. While Zoe still isn't sleeping through the night, she is sleeping for longer stretches which has been nice. After her late night feeding (around 11pm), she usually will sleep until about 4am, give or take 30 minutes or so. After that we're back to every 3 hours. I'm also trying to get better about napping when she does, which helps.

Last, but certainly not least, my weight. I gained 19 pounds during my pregnancy. As of Monday, I've lost....26 pounds! YAY!!! I actually lost all of the pregnancy weight by 2 weeks postpartum. I was shocked! But I still have to work on toning my belly. While I'm happy about the additional weight I've lost, I'd still like to lose about 25 lbs. to get to my ideal weight. So that means lots of diet and exercise in my future....my least favorite things to do.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I still miss having Zoe in my tummy. I still love holding her and snuggling with her, but the "empty" feeling still persists. Sigh....

5 Weeks!

2009-03-15T12:03:00.013-05:00

Dear Zoe,

Well, you've kept Mommy pretty busy, so I'm just getting around to your 5 week update. You'll be 6 weeks old tomorrow. I really need to get on the ball!

Guess what you did this week?! You mastered nursing!!! YAY, Zoe!!! You have been nursing exclusively since last Monday. No more bottles, no more pumping, just nursing! What a relief! Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you, pumpkin. Mommy was able to freeze the milk she pumped before you started exclusively nursing, so now we have a little supply on hand for Daddy to feed you from time to time. Mommy will start pumping again soon so we can increase our stash, but right now I'm enjoying the extra special bond we're creating.

This week you also started to discover your voice. You've added a cute little yelling noise to your cry, but nothing too obnoxious. You also make a cute little cooing noise every now and then. Mommy and Daddy can't wait until you start "talking" more.

You don't seem to like gadgets. At all! We've tried putting you in your swing and in your bouncer, but you're not having any of it. You prefer to either lie down and entertain yourself or have Mommy and Daddy entertain you. I hope you start liking gadgets soon, otherwise it will have been a waste of our and our family/friends' money to buy them.

This week you had your first REAL bath because it took awhile for your belly button to fully heal. You seem to like baths so far, which is a good thing. But Mommy and Daddy need to figure out a good trick to keep you warm because while I was drying you off you started to scream bloody murder. I've never heard you cry like that; it broke my heart. After I got you all bundled up and nursed you, you were okay.

Mommy and Daddy love you very much, Zoe! You continue to be the light of our lives.

Xoxo,
Mommy

A few pics from Week 5 (Mommy was slipping and our camera was acting crazy!):

Bath Time

"Mommy, I think I need a manicure."

Looking out the front window with Daddy

1 Month Old!

2009-03-08T23:06:00.005-05:00

Dear Zoe,

Forget about mere weeks, you're 1 month old now! Can you believe it, pumpkin?! Time really does fly when you're having fun! Thank you for making this the best month of Mommy and Daddy's lives.

In the last week, you've started having longer stretches of awake time. You love to just look around and soak in your environment. You also like to stare into Mommy and Daddy's faces a lot more. You love it when Daddy sings "He has the whole world in His hands" to you, and you love it when Mommy sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."

You started spitting up this week. Nothing too major, but I've noticed that the amount is gradually increasing. The funny thing is that I always thought baby spit up was so gross, but it's different now that I'm a mommy. Spit up still looks nasty, but my one and only concern is making sure you're okay, so it doesn't really bother me.

You've mastered the pouty face when you cry. It's so cute and so sad at the same time. When you get ready to cry, you stick out your bottom lip and let the crying commence. And you've started to develop tears; not many, but they're developing. It breaks my heart when I see them. :- ( Thankfully, you don't cry much.

Two noteworthy things for this week. First, you met your Nana (Mommy's mother) this week! It was so sweet to see you with your Nana for the first time. I know it seems like it took a long time to meet her, but Mommy and Daddy asked everyone to give us a little time to bond as a family of three. Everyone respected our wishes, and we're so glad we had such a special time bonding with you.

Second, you're really starting to get the hang of nursing. I'm so proud of you, sweetie. We're not 100% there just yet, but it's getting better. You're no longer falling asleep while you're nursing (yay!), and you usually latch on just fine. Your problem is still keeping your hands out of the way, and you seem to want to go into snack mode about half way during the feeding. I'm willing to continue working at this if you are.

Happy 1 month birthday, Zoe!! Mommy and Daddy love you with every fiber of our beings!

Smooches,
Mommy

Just Adorable!

Not in the mood for a picture!

Hanging with Nana

Zoe and Mommy

Napping with Daddy (not sure if you put Daddy to sleep or if it was the other way around? --lol)

Sneak Peek of Zoe's Newborn Pictures

2009-03-04T12:43:00.002-06:00

We had newborn pics taken of/with Zoe when she was 10 days old. Below is a link to a few of the images. Most of my readers have seen these, but for those that haven't....

http://www.weedonphoto.com/blog/?p=1604

3 Weeks!

2009-03-04T12:14:00.010-06:00

Dear Zoe,

Where is the time going, princess? I can't believe it has already been 3 weeks since you joined us! You are such a joy and a delight! Mommy and daddy love you very much!

This week we've been working on tummy time to start working on your neck muscle strength. You've done a pretty good job with it so far, but you're not a huge fan of it. You make out pretty well the first couple of minutes and then you're pretty much over it.

You LOVE to stretch....for a LONG time! It cracks us up! You put your all into your stretches, complete with funny faces and exasperated noises. I guess it's hard work being so cute, huh?!

You still have a love/hate relationship with the swaddle. We haven't been able to figure out why you love it sometimes and hate it others. But when you hate it, boy do you hate it! It cracks us up when you break out of the swaddle, even when we think its nice and snug.

This week you've discovered grunting. Initially, daddy and I freaked out thinking you were constipated or something. After visiting your doctor and confirming that you weren't constipated, we learned that sometimes babies just grunt for the sake of grunting, and we also learned that babies have to discover how to use their pelvic floor muscles in order to pass gas and pass bowel movements, which can cause grunting. We haven't been able to figure out the reason why you grunt, but it's loud enough to wake us from a sound sleep. LOL. I think you may be grunting due to a combination of the above because sometimes after a long grunting session you will pass gas and/or poop. I just can't wait until you outgrow it so we can all get some sleep. :- )

We can't wait to see (and hear?) what you discover this week, pumpkin. Continue being the blessing you are!

Love you,
Mommy

The Swaddle (before and after)

Stretching!

Wearing Your First Hair Bow

Zoe and Mommy

Two Weeks!

2009-02-21T16:31:00.017-06:00

Dear Zoe,

Last Friday marked two weeks that you've been in this world. (Mommy needs to work on her timeliness of these updates) My how time flies! Mommy and daddy are still trying to get a bit of a routine, but it's coming along. You're just as amazing as you were in week one.

This week you've done more of the same---pee, poop, eat and sleep. You were actually making great improvement in the eating category, but you seem to have regressed in the last few days. Our lactation consultant came to the house again last Thursday, and you were able to transfer 3 times as much milk on your own as you were able to do 6 days prior!! We were so excited! We have faith that you can do this, Zoe! Right now we're taking a short break from having you latch on for mommy's sanity, so I've been pumping and feeding you bottles exclusively. This was ok'd by the lactation consultant. But the great thing is you still nuzzle up to the breast, so you haven't forgotten about it. And you even latched on twice today and stayed awake!

You continue to be more and more alert. Lately you just stare at mommy and daddy. While you aren't yet able to smile socially, we could swear that you've been smiling especially for us the last couple of days. You're going to have an amazing smile, Zoe.

This week you've graduated to some varsity level farts! LOL. Lately you've been a bit gassy, so you've been letting them fly. You could pull up a chair with the Klumps from the Nutty Professor and be right at home. You're still super strong and super squirmy. And you love, love, love to keep your hands in your face. Your hands really get in the way of nursing, and you've grazed me a few times with those crazy hands....OUCH! Sometimes your hands are in the way so much that daddy has to hold them down in order for you to latch on. Now what am I going to do when daddy goes back to work?!

We had your two week checkup last Friday. You're growing beautifully, Zoe! You were born at 5 lb. 15 oz. and 18 3/4 inches long. As of Friday, you're 6 lb. 9 oz. and 20 inches long!!! You had the second part of your newborn screening. You took the heel prick like a champ! You're such a strong little girl.

Thank you for entering our lives, Zoe. We love you so much, and we are eternally grateful to the Lord for blessing us with you. You truly are God's greatest gift to us! We look forward to seeing what you do this next week. Just keep working on nursing....

Love you always and forever,
Mommy

A few week 2 pics:

Doing what you do best....sleeping

Napping on daddy's lap

Taking a nap with mommy

Seeing daddy off to work.... :- (

After nursing....this is how you looked most of the nursing session (I can laugh about it now)

Sitting in a grown folks' chair....you're so tiny!

Zoe's Birth Story

2009-02-19T14:58:00.019-06:00

This is old news, but I had a baby 19 days ago. Ha ha ha. I can't believe how long it's taken me to sit down and write Zoe's birth story. I knew motherhood was a hard job and time consuming, but I guess I didn't really know how hard and time consuming it would be. But I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Some of this story is a little TMI, but it's part of birth story.

Thursday, February 5:

I had my 38 week appointment with Dr. S the morning of February 5. My cervix was still closed and hard, so Dr. S said she'd probably be seeing me again the following week for my weekly check-up. Due to swelling in my hands and feet, I decided to work from home Thursday and Friday so I could work on elevating my feet and taking it easy.

After running a few errands, Trevor and I had Chick-Fil-A for dinner. I got my usual--#1 deluxe with a diet coke. Around 11pm, I suddenly started feeling really nauseous. I mean really nauseous. And then I started feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom. When I did, I had diarrhea. (TMI) And Zoe was SOOOOO active, to the point that it actually was causing me a lot of discomfort in my lower pelvis. All I could do was sit in bed with my eyes closed and hold my stomach. I read my childbirth booklet and noticed that diarrhea can be an early labor symptom and can present itself 1-7 days before labor. Concerned, Trevor and I immediately started packing our hospital bag....just in case. I decided to go to sleep and see how I made out through the night. I woke up around 4 am still feeling nauseous, but was able to doze back off.

Friday, February 6:

I woke up around 8am and was talking to Trevor as he prepared to take one of our cars to the dealership for service. I was still feeling a little nauseous, but not as bad as the night before. As Trevor and I were talking, I got a sudden urge to use the bathroom. More diarrhea. Even more than the night prior. Then I heard "drip, drip, drip" in the toilet. I looked down and saw bright red blood dripping in the water. It wasn't the "bloody show" I'd read about because it was pure blood, no mucous mixed in with it. I was kinda freaked out, but I recalled Dr. S telling me something about bleeding and labor. I couldn't remember what she said, so we decided to call her. In the meantime, I put on a pad in the event the bleeding increased. As we were waiting for Dr. S to call back, I felt a warm gush between my legs. This was at 8:42 am. I looked at my pad and saw a brownish-yellow fluid. I knew at that moment that my water broke. A few additional gushes followed, but thankfully not a huge flow of fluid. Dr. S's nurse called back and instructed us to head to L&D. After taking a quick shower and stopping to get something to eat (I knew they would starve me once I arrived at the hospital), we were on our way.

We arrived at the hospital at 9:45 am. My first L&D nurse, Kimber, checked my fluid and confirmed it was amniotic fluid. She also informed me that I would be admitted and would be having a baby today! My water had officially broke, and the color indicated there was meconium staining, which meant Zoe had a bowel movement inside of me. I knew this meant that my labor had to be watched closely and that the NICU would be called in at the time I delivered to make sure Zoe's lungs weren't compromised by the meconium. Kimber checked my cervix and it was....hard and closed. HUH?! After consulting with Dr. S, Kimber administered pitocin to get my contractions going. My IV was inserted at 10:45 am (ouch! - it took two tries to get the IV in) and the pitocin was started at 11:15 am. Dr. S came to check me during her lunch hour and I still wasn't dilated, so the pitocin was increased at 12:20pm and again at 1:00pm and 1:20pm. At 1:35pm I was officially feeling the contractions, but they were manageable. At 1:40pm, the pitocin was increased again. By 3:30pm, my contractions were about 2 minutes apart. At 4:30pm, Dr. S came to check me again, and I was 75% effaced but only a fingertip dilated. Are you kidding me?! She had an internal monitor inserted to gauge the intensity of my contractions and the pitocin was increased yet again. Although Dr. S wasn't on call for the weekend, she said she wouldn't release me to the on call OB and that she would personally deliver Zoe. I was so happy because I really like Dr. S. However, Dr. S told me that if I hadn't progressed sufficiently within 12 hours of my water breaking, I'd probably be having a c-section due to the meconium staining in my amniotic fluid. GULP!

It goes without mentioning, by now I was starving and tired of eating popsicles! How cruel!

At 6:30pm, I was 80% effaced and 1.5 cm dilated. Seriously?! And I was in HORRIBLE pain. I had back labor like you read about! At 6:40pm, I couldn't take the pain any longer, but I knew I couldn't get an epidural because I would risk slowing down my already slow labor, so Kimber ordered up some Nubain to "take the edge off" the pain. Boy was I feeling good....for about an hour and then "the edge" came back with a vengeance! I was gripping the bed rails with every contraction and just as I recovered from one, the next one came. My new L&D nurse came in at 7pm, but I was in so much pain that I honestly can't remember her name. I think it was Julie???? Anyway, at 8:25pm I started getting really nauseous from the back labor, and I was in tears. I was 100% effaced and still only 1.5 cm dilated. I was up against the clock. Only 17 minutes to go before the 12 hour mark. I was praying for a miracle, but I desperately needed the epidural. I was so afraid to get it because I knew I was risking slowing down my labor, but I couldn't take the pain any longer. The L&D nurse got the okay from Dr. S and the epidural was ordered. At 8:45pm a walking epidural was inserted. It was a strange experience, but I lived through it. The pain relief wasn't instant, but I was feeling pretty good within about 10 minutes. But I started itching like crazy! I was told that it was normal and eventually the itching went away.

At 9:13pm, the nurse checked me again as we awaited Dr. S's arrival. I was 100% effaced and 3 cm dilated. The nurse inserted my catheter.

At 9:31pm, Dr. S arrived and checked me. She told me she wasn't very optimistic since it had taken me so long to reach 3 cm. Also, Zoe was starting to show early signs of distress because her heart rate was starting to drop slightly. When she checked me she was surprised to find me at....9 cm. YAY!!! While she was still checking me I dilated to 10cm. She was still skeptical because my epidural was so fresh, and she wasn't sure I would be able to push. On the next contraction we decided to "practice". I pushed like a champ, and Dr. S said it looked like we'd be having a baby via vaginal delivery. Thank you, Jesus!!! The next thing I knew, the NICU was called in, everyone got prepped and we awaited my next contraction. It came, I pushed three times and Zoe was born! Just like that! Two contractions and five pushes!! At 9:41pm, Zoe Alexis entered this world!!! Before she was delivered fully Dr. S had me reach down and touch her head. I can't explain how it felt to feel a human being's head coming out of me. Weird and amazing at the same time! Oh, turns out that Zoe's cord was wrapped pretty snuggly around her neck, which explains the signs of distress. I'm so glad she was okay! After she was fully delivered, Zoe was immediately taken to the NICU staff to suction out the meconium and to check her lungs. Thankfully, the meconium was only in her stomach and none had migrated to her lungs. Thus, she didn't require oxygen, a NICU stay or any other interventions. I was worried when I didn't hear her cry, but Dr. S told me that they were suppressing her cry to keep the meconium from traveling to her lungs. Within a few minutes she cried and so did I.

I only had a minor 1st degree tear, so my body handled the labor well. Other than the back labor, giving birth to Zoe was not as hard as I expected it to be. Start to finish, my pregnancy was incredible. I actually miss being pregnant. :- ( I can't put my finger on the reason why, but I really miss it. And I miss feeling Zoe inside of me so much.

A few pics from the glorious day:

Zoe and the NICU Staff

Daddy Cutting the Cord

Zoe and Mommy Meet

Zoe and Dr. S

Our First Family Photo

Our Princess

Today is my Due Date!

2009-02-18T12:32:00.000-06:00

Well, today is the day is was estimated to all go down. Zoe, and the Lord, had other plans though. I'm so happy Zoe entered our lives 12 days early. Our lives have been enriched. We love you, Zoe!

1 Week Old

2009-02-14T19:36:00.009-06:00

Dear Zoe,

One week ago yesterday you entered mommy and daddy's lives in the flesh. We are so blessed to call you our daughter. You are absolutely beautiful and you have such a sweet disposition. And you have the most piercing charcoal grey eyes. Mommy and daddy are keeping our fingers crossed that you keep them because they are so striking. In the last week, you've really only done four things--pee, poop, sleep and eat. Now about the eating thing....we really need you to get with the program pumpkin. Once you figure out a way to stay awake, you'll be a master nurser! Mommy and daddy like to call you our little squirm worm because you just squirm around so much. And you're so strong! We're talking adult strength strong! You have a love-hate relationship with being swaddled. Our second nickname for you is "whodini" because you always figure out a way to wiggle your right hand out of the swaddle no matter how tight we bundle you up. This morning your right hand was sticking out of the swaddle and your little fist was balled up as if to say "I pity the fool that tries to swaddle me again." LOL. I wish I would've taken a picture. You do the cutest little things!

In the last week I've wept a lot while looking at you. I'm just so in love with you, and I'm already dreading the day you grow up and leave home. Sob, sob.... My heart is just so full, Zoe. I can't believe that just a few short days ago you were moving around in my tummy. I miss feeling you inside of me so much. You're amazing to hold, kiss and cuddle, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. But you're sorely missed in my belly.

You lost your cord stump on your one week birthday. We were so surprised that it fell off so soon. You also saw your pediatrician for a weight check. You received glowing reviews. You still have 2 ounces to go before returning to your birth weight. Thankfully, you don't have a bit of jaundice. You're perfect! Oh, you also had your first bath. On a scale of 1 to 10, I think you found the experience to be about a 7....maybe a 6. You get tons of hiccups, just like you did the last couple of weeks in my belly. And you sneeze a lot, which your pediatrician says is completely normal at this stage as you adjust to being outside of the womb.

Mommy and daddy are looking forward to week 2. We hope that by the end of this week you'll have nursing mastered. That's what we're praying for.

We love you, Zoe pooh!

Love always,
Mommy

A few one week photos:

More Pictures of Zoe

2009-02-13T16:13:00.011-06:00

Here are Zoe's hospital pictures. Isn't she a beauty?! I know, I know, I'm a little biased....

Here She Is....(and a quick update)

2009-02-12T22:13:00.010-06:00

Motherhood is both amazing and humbling! Oh, and exhausting!!! Zoe is amazing and she really is a dream. Breastfeeding is looking up, but it was a challenge initially. Our biggest issue right now is that Zoe is so sleepy at the breast. As a result, I have to follow each feeding with 15 minutes of pumping and a supplemental feeding for Zoe to make sure she gets enough food in her tummy. This makes for a long process and only leaves me about an hour and a half to sleep before the next feeding. Short naps really make me irritable, thus I'm running on very little sleep. I know it will get better. Trevor has been AMAZING!!! There is no way I could do this without him. We're both so in love with Zoe. She is God's greatest gift to us!!!

Here are a few pictures of our angel (sorry about the varying picture sizes....I'm too tired to try to fix it or figure it out):

Zoe Alexis is Here!!!

2009-02-07T12:37:00.004-06:00

She arrived at 9:41pm on 2/6/09. She weighed in at a whopping 5 lbs. 15 oz. and was 18 3/4 inches long. She's absolutely perfect! Pictures and birth story to follow in a few days. We're in love!!!

I'M IN LABOR!!!

2009-02-06T12:44:00.005-06:00

I can't believe it, but it's happening. We're at the hospital now. My water broke this morning at 8:42 CT. Zoe will be joining us soon. Stay tuned....

$312,166

2009-02-05T22:00:00.003-06:00

Guess what $312,166 will buy us eighteen years from now? A college education for Zoe! Gulp! This figure is based on a college cost projection Trevor did this evening. The assumption made with this projection is that Zoe will attend a college that costs $25,000/year currently. It seems that we should be saving over $600 per month to meet these costs. I guess we better get busy!

38 Weeks! (and prenatal appointment)

2009-02-05T21:21:00.007-06:00

We're getting closer to the finish line. 38 weeks and counting! My symptoms are largely the same, although the swelling in my feet seems to be getting worse. My blood pressure and urine checks are still good, so Dr. S isn't overly concerned about the swelling. She has instructed me to keep my feet elevated as much as possible. Yesterday afternoon my size 8.5s felt like size 5s. Not very comfortable! I'm going to work from home tomorrow, and I may start working half-days from home next week....we'll see. (My goal is to work through my delivery date so I don't burn any maternity leave)

I had a prenatal appointment today. It went well. Zoe has dropped a small bit, but she's still not positioned firmly in my pelvis. Her heart beat was nice and strong ~ in the 150s-160s. And my cervix....well, it's not doing much. Dr. S is pretty certain I'll make my appointment next week, so it looks like no Zoe for awhile. :- (

Zoe this week: Zoe is working on a few last-minute details like shedding the skin-protecting vernix and lanugo. She's also producing more surfactant, a substance that prevents the air sacs in her lungs from sticking to one another once she starts to breathe. And she continues to practice her swallowing skills by taking in amniotic fluid. Despite these last minute details, she's ready for life outside the womb. We're ready when she is!

Today Dr. S said Zoe feels like she could weigh as much as 6.5 lbs. right now, which is a little perplexing since she was estimated at 5 lbs. last week. Who knows??? For now, according to the text books, Zoe weighs approximately 6.8 lbs. and she's over 19.5 inches long (about the length of a leek):

Ut Oh!

2009-02-02T17:01:00.002-06:00

This morning, after I read an article on the topic, Trevor and I tested our nursery rhyme skills. Um, yeah.....not so much! We're in trouble! Or Zoe is! It is very clear to us that we don't know many nursery rhymes and can't get past the first two or three lines of the ones we do know.

Two examples of how this morning's session went:

"Hush little baby don't say a word, momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird, and if that mockingbird don't sing.....cricket, cricket....."

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder.....is the next word "what" or where"....you are......cricket, cricket......"

Poor Zoe! LOL!!!

37 Weeks!

2009-02-01T22:40:00.008-06:00

I crossed the 37 week mark last Wednesday. Zoe is officially full-term! All is well. We're anxious to meet Zoe, but we know she'll enter this world when she's good and ready. Assuming she doesn't arrive late, we're officially at T-17 days and counting.

I'm feeling pretty good. Same symptoms as last week. Someone asked me the other day if I'm officially tired of being pregnant? I'm not. I'm anxious to meet Zoe, but I've been very fortunate to have a smooth and easy pregnancy. No big issues to complain of. Sure I have an aching back, pain in my left rib cage from time to time, swelling ankles as of late, horrendous snoring (according to Trevor), occasional nosebleeds, and other random symptoms, but I don't have the horror stories I've heard other women speak of. I'm truly blessed.

My weight gain is still holding steady at 16 lbs. I'm pleased. My belly is getting big though. (Although I still think I look cute ~ smile) Some of my maternity shirts are even starting to get too short. What's up with that?! I wonder how much larger my belly will get between now and when I deliver?

Zoe this week: since Zoe is officially full-term, there's not much going on in terms of development. All of her organs and major systems are just continuing to mature. Beyond that, she's working on gaining weight and getting practice simulating breathing by inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, sucking on her thumb, blinking, and pivoting from side to side. With respect to Zoe gaining weight, I've noticed my appetite has increased, so I guess her nutritional needs are increasing. Zoe has been getting hiccups like crazy lately; sometimes they last as long as 5 minutes. And she's still a little jitterbug, moving like crazy!

According to the text books, Zoe weighs approximately 6 1/3 lbs.; however, Dr. S estimates that Zoe's weight is more in the neighborhood of 5 lbs. Zoe is over 19 inches long (like a stalk of swiss chard):

37 Week Appointment

2009-01-30T22:28:00.004-06:00

I had my 37 week appointment today and all is well. Suffice it to say, Zoe seems to be comfortable in my belly and it doesn't look like she'll be entering this world in the next week....but you never know. My cervix still hasn't dilated, but it is starting to soften a bit.

Zoe: still head down, but she hasn't dropped very much. Her heart beat was nice and strong ~ in the 150s. Dr. S estimates Zoe's weight at 5 lb., so we think she's going to be petite. :- )

Mommy: my blood pressure was great ~ 102/70. I've gained 1 lb. since my last appointment. My Group B Strep test came back negative, and I'm no longer anemic. YAY!!!

It was a great appointment! But it was pretty surreal when Dr. S told me to go ahead and schedule my "last two appointments." Crazy!!! Worst case scenario, I'll probably have three appointments because Dr. S won't allow me to go more than 1 week over my due date. T-19 days and counting....

Baby Shower #2

2009-01-26T23:21:00.012-06:00

My second baby shower was on January 17. It was a blast!!! My BFF Dione and my good friends Janice and Tonia hosted it. Another friend, Sonia, assisted with making the day run smoothly. The shower was held locally at a really cute and girlie tea room. The turnout was amazing--22 people total. And Zoe got so much stuff--a bassinet, Baby Einstein activity mat, another activity center made for tummy time, TONS of clothes, a diaper bag, some of the cutest shoes ever, adorable blankets, a baby monitor, a first aid kit, a grooming kit, shopping cart cover and the list goes on! Oh, and she even got her first coat courtesy of my Aunt Colette who came down from Indiana. The coat is absolutely adorable!!!

The games were a lot of fun. One of the most meaningful things we did was an activity where everyone wrote out some new mommy advice for me and then read it out loud. I was given the cards as a keepsake, and I'm sure I will refer to them regularly. When each person stood to tell me their advice, they were asked to introduce themselves and tell the group how they knew me. What an emotional time! My mother, aunt, BFF Dione and my good friend Tonia all got emotional when addressing me. So I got emotional as well. The things they said were very touching, and I knew the spirit in which their comments were made which made it even more touching. I also got emotional from a couple of the guest favors. The first was the "thank you note from Zoe" that was attached to the water bottles. I cried when I read it. And the second was when a prayer candle was explained to the guests. Each guest was given the cutest little candle with Zoe's name on the holder, and they were asked to light the candle and say a prayer for her when she's born. It was overwhelming to think that so many prayers would go up/out for little Zoe in a few short weeks.

The hostesses did an amazing job with the shower! So many of the guests commented on how it and said they'd never been to such a beautiful shower! I've been blessed with some amazing friends!!! Here are some pictures:

Group Photo (minus the latecomers):

The Hostesses (Tonia, Sonia, Dione and Janice):

My Mommy and Me:

Cupcake Tier (red velvet....yummy!):

One of the gorgeous diaper cakes:

Favors that made me cry:

Zoe's first coat (love it!):

Gift Table:

Maternity Leave

2009-01-26T12:50:00.004-06:00

Last spring my firm revamped its maternity leave policy. Attorneys are now given 18 weeks of leave at 100% pay, with the option to add an additional 6 weeks at no pay (upon approval). During my evaluation in December I talked to my boss about taking the full 24 weeks off; she was okay with it, but we needed to get it approved through our section head in D.C. You know how office/firm politics go. Anyway, I just got an e-mail from our section head approving my full leave! Woot!!! So, Zoe and I will have six glorious months to spend together!! YAY!!! Assuming she arrives on time, I won't return to work until......mid-August. I'm so excited!!! (As you can tell by the overuse of exclamation marks! ~ smile)

Educational Day

2009-01-25T22:00:00.003-06:00

Today was very educational. First, I had Zoe's car seat inspected for proper installation. While Trevor did a really good job installing it, it still needed a few adjustments. We scheduled our inspection with a car seat consultant we found through www.seatcheck.org. (Website was recommended during our Infant CPR and Safety class) The consultant we went with was awesome! My one-hour appointment turned into nearly two hours, and it was the best two hours I've spent in awhile! I learned all about our car seat and infant car seat safety from A-Z, and I now feel equipped to keep Zoe safe! I highly recommend this type of exercise for any new mom or when transitioning a child from an infant seat to a convertible seat and/or when transitioning to a new vehicle. Biggest take-away....don't clean the car seat straps/harness with anything but water. The chemicals in soaps can break down the integrity of the straps/harness and render them ineffective during a collision. If the straps/harness get too nasty or stinky, it's best to buy a new set from the manufacturer. Also, don't use any of the after-market stuff sold as car seat accessories (e.g., seat protectors to place between the base and your automobile's seat, "baby view" mirrors, etc.) because they are not crash-tested with the infant seat, so you have to use them at your own risk. And who wants to risk injury to their child?!

Second, I went to a "New Moms Tea" offered at our hospital. It is a monthly gathering offered for new moms and expectant mothers. It was great meeting and seeing so many new moms with their babies and meeting other moms-to-be. I will definitely be doing this on a monthly basis. (And it's free!) Today's lecture was "Diapers to Dendrites", which focused on infant brain development. It was great!!! We were taught how we can contribute to our child's brain development in a meaningful way from day one. I had a number of take-aways, but my biggest take-away.....LIMIT TV to about 20 minutes per day (once a child is ready for it). I've been so accustomed to hearing family and friends talk about how much their kids love (fill in the blank) cartoon or educational video, so I always assumed I'd expose my child(ren) to the same "entertainment". But we were encouraged to limit TV to help our children learn to entertain themselves and to even replace TV with music if possible. This helps with a child's attention span, which will do wonders for them when they start school. I plan on doing additional research on dendrites and healthy brain development so that we can equip Zoe. (Trevor got a precursor to this lecture during his new dad's boot camp, so we're both pumped!) Another interesting factoid was that kids don't develop socialization skills until age 3 and beyond. I've often heard people advocate day care around age 18-24 mos. all in the name of teaching their kids socialization skills. Apparently this isn't true. Interesting to know from a child care perspective since this will probably influence when we transition Zoe from nanny care to day care.

Today was a good day.

36 Weeks!

2009-01-25T21:32:00.007-06:00

36 weeks marks the start of the 9th month! Woot!! We're on the home stretch, and in one more week Zoe will be considered full-term. That's amazing! Not long before Zoe is in our arms. We can't wait! This week I've been having the following symptoms: aching back, swollen ankles (a/k/a cankles), oily skin (yuck!), tons of Braxton Hicks, constipation (TMI--sorry), fatigue, and according to Trevor, snoring at a whole 'nother level. Oh, we mustn't forget the labor scare I experienced this week. What fun! Despite the aforementioned list, I still think I've had a remarkable pregnancy.

No weight gain this week---still up 16 lbs. from my pre-preggers weight. I had an appointment with Dr. S last Friday, and my blood pressure is still picture perfect. As of the date of my labor scare and subsequent prenatal appointment, my cervix is still closed.

Zoe this week: first, she is still moving like crazy, and I still love it! Also, she's been having a lot of hiccups lately. Anatomically, most of Zoe's systems (from circulatory to musculoskeletal) are almost equipped for life outside of the womb. While her digestive system is ready to go, it won't get its first work-out until Zoe gets her first taste of breast milk (hopefully) or formula (hope not). In preparation for taking her first suckle of the breast or bottle, Zoe has been practicing by sucking her thumb, fist, toes and anything else she can get her mouth on. Awww....

Zoe is around 20 inches long and she weighs approximately 6 pounds (about the size of a crenshaw melon....whatever that is???):

Cute pregnancy cartoon (and very apropos given my constipation symptom mentioned above ~ ha ha):

Daddy Boot Camp

2009-01-24T23:21:00.002-06:00

I'm so behind on updating this blog! A couple of weeks ago Trevor attended daddy boot camp for new dads. He LOVED it, and it made me feel so good to know he wanted to attend. He learned a lot and came home pumped! He said there were about 15 men there, which is awesome! Before attending the boot camp, Trevor was concerned about changing Zoe's diaper. Now he feels prepared. He even had me show him that I know how to change a diaper. LOL. So, I obliged him and put a diaper on a teddy bear. They also taught the guys how to swaddle a baby, so Trevor taught me. It was so cute. The guys learned a whole host of things in the 2.5 hours they were in class, including different ways to support their wives during labor and after the baby is born. I think Trevor is now equipped with the basics to get off to a good start. It really is so refreshing to know that he truly is just as excited as I am about this new stage in our lives. As I've said many times before, Zoe is so lucky to have him as her daddy. He's going to be great and so loving!

I Want Them Back!

2009-01-24T22:59:00.003-06:00

Two things in my life have always been constant--my skinny ankles and wrists. In the last couple of weeks, that has changed. My wrists are still pretty skinny, but my ankles....not so much! I swear I've been walking around on CANKLES lately!!! And they are NOT cute! Thankfully, I can still wear my shoes, including my boots, thus the swelling probably isn't as bad as I'm making it sound. But I really want MY ankles back! Just a few more weeks....

Dry Run (a/k/a False Alarm)

2009-01-22T20:39:00.004-06:00

We just got home from....labor & delivery! Yep, we had a false alarm! Trevor and I went to bible study last night, and I started having pretty regular contractions in the middle of praise and worship. I chalked it up to Braxton Hicks, although they were non-stop. The contractions continued through the night and this morning. After having several contractions at work this morning, I decided to call Dr. S. I was instructed to lie down and time my contractions for an hour, so I went to the firm's sick room to do this. My contractions were consistently 2-7 minutes apart with varying duration. Dr. S instructed me to go to labor and delivery for observation.

My contractions continued at 2-7 minutes apart, but my cervix was (and is) still closed. This is TMI, but I think I lost part of my mucous plug while at the hospital because when I went pee there was something fleshy floating in the urine cup. (Sorry!) Zoe was doing beautifully through it all, which was great! Her heart rate was great (between 150-190....only in the 180s/190s during the contractions), and she was very active. I was discharged this evening with instructions to return if (1) my water breaks, (2) my contractions get stronger, and/or (3) my contractions get closer together.

Trevor and I learned a lot today. First of all, we now know where to park for the real thing. Very important to know! Also, I need to pack a REAL hospital bag. I threw some things in a bag in about 10 minutes, so I need to start over this weekend....assuming Zoe doesn't decide to make an appearance before then. Otherwise, we'll just make do with the ghetto bag I threw together today! LOL. Last, we need to install the car seat....Trevor is working on that as I type this post.

I'm hoping our baby girl will stay put and bake awhile longer since I'm only 36 weeks. But I've been having a nagging feeling the last few days that she's coming early, and oddly enough my mom has been having the same feeling. We'll see....

Getting a Cavity!

2009-01-21T14:28:00.005-06:00

Pass the novacaine please. I think I'm getting a cavity! Figuratively speaking that is. Today, I received a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of 3 dozen yellow roses. My favorite! I truly believe this is by far the most beautiful bouquet of roses I've ever seen. Seriously.

The card says: "36 Weeks and Counting! I Can't Wait! I Love You Very Much. Love, Trevor"

This is the second time Trevor has surprised me with roses at a pregnancy milestone. He is so amazingly sweet!!! I'm so blessed to have him as a husband, and Zoe is so lucky to have him for her daddy!!

Thank you for making my day, my love! And thank you for caring about this pregnancy (and Zoe) enough to keep track of it (and her) so closely. You're amazing!

35 Weeks! (plus belly shot)

2009-01-21T11:04:00.008-06:00

This is OLD news, but I'm 35 weeks pregnant! Since Trevor's return home on January 10, we've been going non-stop. Last weekend we had family and friends in town for my second baby shower. It was so amazing. More on that in a later post. We've also been busy putting the finishing touches on Zoe's nursery and finishing up our series of childbirth, infant care, breastfeeding, and infant CPR classes. I AM EXHAUSTED!!!

I'm still feeling pretty good, but lugging around a 35 week fetus is becoming tiring! My back aches are getting to be more chronic and miserable. I've been having Braxton Hicks like crazy, and Zoe has decided that she likes to lodge her foot (or feet?) in my left rib cage (ouch!). I'm up a total of 16 lbs. from my pre-preggers weight, but my appetite is increasing so the next few weeks will be interesting. Despite the discomfort I'm feeling these days, I wouldn't change any of this for the world. I'm falling in love with this little girl more and more every day, and I cannot wait to meet her!

Zoe this week: according to the books, Zoe is running out of room to move and shouldn't be doing many somersaults. Well, the authors of those books haven't met my baby girl. She's been quite active, and I think she's definitely learned how to do a somersault or two despite the limited space. Zoe's kidneys are fully developed now, and her liver can process some waste products. While most of her basic physical development is now complete, the next few weeks will consist of gaining weight.

Zoe is likely between 18-20 inches long, and she weighs approximately 5 1/2 lbs. (about the weight of a honeydew melon):

Here's a 35 week belly shot taken in Zoe's nursery:

Sixteen Long Days

2009-01-12T11:02:00.004-06:00

Trevor returned home on Saturday after a sixteen day trip overseas with the Navy. It's so good to have him back home! I can't imagine what it will be like when he has to take one of these trips after Zoe is born. This trip demonstrated how hormonal I really am, because I cried like a baby the day Trevor left (Dec. 26). And I prayed and prayed and prayed for his safety like never before. Pregnancy has brought about a great deal of nerves.....and fear. Fear of losing Trevor. Fear of raising Zoe alone. I know that this type of fear isn't of God, so I have to resist it and pray against it daily. Recently I did some soul searching to understand why the fear is so deep. I realize that there are two things driving it....the first is my desire to ALWAYS have Trevor in my life. I wouldn't have married him otherwise. I love that man with every fiber of my being and I can't imagine life without him. The second is my desire for Zoe to experience what I didn't....truly having a "daddy." This isn't intended to be a knock against my father, but after my mother and he divorced when I was three, the relationship just wasn't what it should be. While I wasn't greatly impacted by this emotionally because my mom did a phenomenal job of raising me, as I've gotten older I realize just how much I truly missed out on. I'm glad Zoe won't have to experience that. She's such a lucky little girl because Trevor is going to be an amazing father!

34 Weeks!

2009-01-07T19:03:00.003-06:00

Today begins my 34th week. Yep, 34 weeks as in 6 more weeks until Zoe arrives....assuming she arrives on time. Holy moly!!! My pregnancy symptoms are unchanged. But I did jinx myself last week by saying I hadn't had any nose bleeds in awhile. My nose bleeds are now back in full force. They're still only on the left side, and I was a logging a couple of nose bleeds per day for a few days. Lovely.

I lost a few ounces, so I'm up 12.4 lbs. from my pre-preggers weight. All is well.

Zoe this week: our baby girl could be as tall as 20 inches right now and she weighs about 5 pounds. More energy-storing white fat is present, which accounts for approximately 8 percent of Zoe's total weight. Plus it's giving her a smoother, more plunk appearance! Zoe's fingernails have probably reached the tip of her fingers at this point....maybe that's what I've been feeling inside me. I swear it felt like she was scratching my spleen or some other vital organ yesterday. Zoe's central nervous system and lungs are continuing to mature. The good news is if Zoe were born between weeks 34-37, she'd probably be just fine barring any other health issues. What a relief! But I really want her to stay put and keep baking. Lastly, Zoe continues to be very active. And when I lay on my left side, I can feel her inside of me! I can't explain it, but I feel her. Weird! Oh, I had a dream about Zoe's birth last night. I couldn't see her face, but man she had some long hands and feet....I'm talking remarkably long! Hmmm.....

Zoe could be as long as 20 inches now and she weighs about 5 pounds (as much as a cantaloupe):

Another Great Prenatal Appointment

2009-01-05T19:24:00.004-06:00

I had my (almost) 34 week appointment today. My appointment was with the second doctor in Dr. S's practice. As mentioned previously, there are two Dr. Ws. I saw Dr. W2 today. I REALLY liked her! She had a great bedside manner and was very friendly.

Everything looks great! My blood pressure was good ~ 102/68. I'm measuring right on target. And it seems that I've LOST 2 lbs. I'm not sure that I believe that to be true. I was wearing high heeled boots and a sweater at my last appt, so I think I was just weighing heavier last time. I'll do my "official" weekly weigh-in Wednesday morning at home, so we'll see what the scale says then. I asked Dr. W2 to check me for a possible bladder or urinary tract infection because I've been feeling some bladder discomfort lately. My urine came back clear, so she said it's probably just pressure from Zoe.

Zoe's heartbeat was nice and strong ~ high 150s, even the low 160s at times. She is positioned head down and is getting close to the pelvic opening. Dr. W2 says she will probably settle into my pelvis around week 36, and she doesn't expect Zoe to turn at this point. Fingers crossed....

The only bad news....it seems that my abs have separated. I've been reading about this, so I asked Dr. W2 if it's possible to determine if it's happened to me. She showed me a little trick, and sure enough, ab separation! Booo!!! She said the abs will reconnect postpartum. I'm just bummed that it happened to me.